Posts Tagged ‘Yom Kippur’

 

Who, Still Broken

Posted on: October 9th, 2016 by Alden

img_0711One of the ways my wife Ami z”l attempted her own life was with gasoline. She poured gas onto a grassy midway, ignited it and stepped into the fire. Thankfully, when her clothing caught fire, she dropped and rolled. In the decade since, I’ve struggled with the High Holiday prayer Un’taneh Tokef; in particular, the famous couplet: “Who by fire. Who by water.” Today, after an angry sea pulled back from Haiti, more than 800 are dead. Today, a boy lays in an induced coma after he was set on fire. Today, I wrote this meditation. It includes direct and indirect references to the Un’taneh Tokef, as well as allusions to the Kedusha and to the tradition of prostration during a special Alienu added for the High Holidays. This piece appears in This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day from CCAR Press.

Who, Still Broken
Who by fire,
Screaming with seared flesh?
Who by water,
Gasping for one more breath?

Rock of Life,
Tell me that these are not
Your tools of justice.
Tell me that these are not
Your verdicts or Your punishments.
How do You bear the cries
Of Your children?
The starving,
The battered,
Buried in rubble
Or washed to sea?

No, this is not my God.
Neither Judge nor Witness,
Prosecutor nor Executioner,
Issuing severe decrees
In a kangaroo court
Of intimidations
And forced confessions.

.כִּי כְּשִׁמְךָ כֵּן תְּהִלָתֶֽךָ
Ki k’Shimcha cain t’hilatecha.
For according to Your name,
So is Your praise.
Your name is Righteousness. Forgiveness. Love.
Your names are Mother, Father and Teacher.
Your names are Source and Shelter.

.קָשֶׁה לִכְעֹס וְנֽוֹחַ לִרְצוֹת
Kasheh lichos v’noach lirtzot.
You are slow to anger
And ready to forgive.
But I,
I am slow to change,
Slow to amend my ways.
I can be consumed by the fire
Of my own anger.
I can drown in the sea
Of my own sorrow.
I need Your guidance,
Your gentle hand.

.וְאַתָּה הוּא מֶלֶֽךְ, אֵל חַי וְקַיָּם
V’atah hu Melech El Chai v’kayam!
For You are forever our Living G-d and Sovereign!

Yes, I will fall to my knees
Before You.
For you are Holy,
Your Majesty fills the universe.
My origin is dust
And I will return to dust.
Until then,
God of Mercy,
תְּשׁוּבָה, תְּפִילָּה, וּצְדָקָה
T’shuva, tefillah u’tzdakah —
Repentance, prayer and righteousness —
Will allow me to rise,
To stand before You
Human,
Humble,
Fallible,
Still broken,
And still whole.

© 2017 CCAR Press from This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day

Postscript: This meditation reflects a certain anger, redemptive by asserting a gentler conception of G-d, as well as G-d’s justice, mercy and redemption. See also “Cry No More” and “At the Gates.” Please consider donating to support my daughter Dana’s participation in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Out of the Darkness Greater Los Angeles Walk to raise funds aimed at reducing the suicide rate 20 percent by 2025.

Please check out my ELItalk video, “Falling in Love with Prayer,” and This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day. For reprint permissions and usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” To receive my latest prayers via email, please subscribe (on the home page). You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Source: Abq Jew

Meditation before the Vidui

Posted on: September 15th, 2016 by Alden

imageThis meditation is to help prepare for a thorough and honest self-assessment before the confession litany, the Vidui, traditionally recited five times on Yom Kippur. It’s recited on Rosh Hashanah and is used in Selichot services. Originally posted as a “Meditation before the Yom Kippur Vidui,” a friend suggested using a title that makes clear this can be used throughout Elul in preparation for the High Holy Days.

Meditation before the Vidui
G-d of Old,
Judge and Sovereign,
Healer and Guide:

Today I recount my deeds,
The sins I’ve committed,
The blessings I’ve bestowed.

Today I recall my year,
The challenges I’ve faced,
The decisions I’ve made.

Today I reach into my heart,
The moments of anger,
The moments of love.

By Your command
G-d of Mercy,
I lay bare the secrets within me,
Light and darkness,
My gentle hand and my clenched fist,
My strength and conceit,
Anger and fear.

By Your command
G-d of Wisdom,
I open myself to see truth,
Beauty and degradation,
The holy and the profane,
The victorious and the guilty.

By Your command
G-d of Salvation,
I reclaim all that I am
And all that I’ve done,
My pride and my shame,
Returning to You
So that I may redeem my days
With awe and righteousness.

© 2011 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: Note that the traditional Siddur includes a Vidui in Tachanun, but only in Israel. This prayer wasn’t conceived with regular use in mind. Thanks to Rabbi Joseph Meszler for the suggestion. This was originally published on Aug. 30, 2011.  Click here for the full list of prayers for the Yamim Noraim. Here’s a focused list of prayers for Elul, another one of prayers for Rosh Hashana, a list of prayers for Yom Kippur and one more for Sukkot. And here’s a link to yizkor and memorial prayers.

Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. Connect with To Bend Light on Facebook and on Twitter.

Photo Source: Kedem Auction House

Meditation on the Vidui

Posted on: September 6th, 2016 by Alden

ashamnuThis prayer was originally posted as a “Meditation after the Yom Kippur Vidui.” A friend pointed out that with a broader name for the prayer it — and my “Meditation Before the Yom Kippur Vidui” — can be used on Selichot, as well as throughout the month of Elul as preparation for the High Holy Days, the Yamim Noraim.

Meditation on the Vidui
For the sins I’ve committed against myself,
And for the sins I’ve committed against others,
I offer a new heart.

For the sins I’ve committed against my family,
And for the sins I’ve committed against my friends,
I offer new understanding.

For the sins I’ve committed against children,
And for the sins I’ve committed against adults,
I offer new restraint.

For the sins I’ve committed against men,
And for the sins I’ve committed against women,
I offer new vision.

For the sins I’ve committed against neighbors,
And for the sins I’ve committed against strangers,
I offer new insight.

For the sins I’ve committed against the powerful,
And for the sins I’ve committed against the weak,
I offer new wisdom.

For the sins I’ve committed against nations,
And for the sins I’ve committed against peoples,
I offer a new voice.

G-d of generations,
Source of forgiveness and grace,
For the sins that I remember,
And for the sins that I’ve forgotten,
I offer myself, in humble service,
To You, Your Word and Your Holy Name.

© 2011 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: Thanks to Rabbi Joseph Meszler for the suggestion. This was originally published on Aug. 31, 2011. Click here for the full list of prayers for the Yamim Noraim. Here’s a focused list of prayers for Elul, another one of prayers for Rosh Hashana, a list of prayers for Yom Kippur and one more for Sukkot. And here’s a link to yizkor and memorial prayers.

Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. Connect with To Bend Light on Facebook and on Twitter.

Photo Source: Va-yehi Or

Ki Tavo: Be the Blessing

Posted on: September 2nd, 2015 by Alden

blessingsThis week’s parasha, Ki Tavo, lists blessings and curses. “All these blessings will come upon you and overtake you, if you harken to the voice of Adonai your God.” (Deut. 28:2) Blessings come from accepting God’s law; curses come from rejecting it. “…if you do not harken to the voice of Adonai your God… then all these curses will come upon you and overtake you.” (Deut. 28:15)  This prayer centers on the idea that we are the tools of both.

Be the Blessing
To be a blessing, to be a curse.
To speak with kindness, to speak in anger.
To act with compassion, to act with cruelty.
With a loving heart or with threatening hands.
To build. To destroy.
To lift up. To tear apart.
Mindful or thoughtless.
Careful or careless.
Openhanded. Closefisted.
Honest. Corrupt.
To strive for holiness, or to abandon God’s word.

To be a blessing, to be a curse.
You gave us this choice, God of generations.
To bless ourselves, to curse ourselves.
To bless each other, to curse each other.

Let blessings pour forth from my life.
Let blessings rain down from heaven.
God’s blessings will fill our days.
God’s blessings will surround us all.

Be the blessing.
Be the blessing.
Be the blessing.

© 2015 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: See also “An Amazing Life,” “A Moment of Blessing,” “Receiving Blessings,” “Umbrella of Blessings” and “Garden of Blessings.”

Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Source: Russham: Faith, Inspiration and Challenging Thoughts

Is this the Fast? A Social Justice Prayer

Posted on: August 23rd, 2015 by Alden

16x9_Isaiah-58On Yom Kippur morning we read Isaiah’s exhortation on the worthlessness of ritual without righteousness. The prophet admonishes the people for fasting but ignoring G-d’s mandates: “Is this not the fast that I have chosen? To loose the fetters of wickedness… to deal thy bread to the hungry… to bring the poor that are cast out into thy house?” [Isaiah 58:6-7] This prayer for social justice asks the same question – “Is this the…” – for many more of our ritual practices. This prayer is appropriate for the spiritual journey of Elul, as well as for use on Yom Kippur

Is this the Fast? A Social Justice Prayer
Peace, peace,
To those who are upright,
Those who are steady,
Those who bring holiness
And light into the world.

Is this the fast we fast?
To remember the homeless and the needy?
To bring healing into the streets,
And justice into our courtyards?

Is this the sukkah we build?
To summon the hungry and forlorn?
To put food in the mouths of the poor
And bring strangers into our tents?

Is this the seder we host?
To end bondage in farm and factory?
To rally before the seats of power
In the name of the oppressed?

Is this the kashrut we keep?
To end mistreatment of flock and herd?
To live in harmony with the land?
To use our resources wisely?

Is this the Torah we learn?
To hear the word of G-d,
With humility and delight,
To thirst for truth and yearn for wisdom?

Is this the Shabbat we keep?
To shake off the bonds of the mundane?
To remember and keep the Sabbath?
To restore our lives and dream of the world to come?

Is this the prayer we pray?
To cry out to the Holy One in joy and sorrow,
In the name of wholeness and healing,
In the name of peace?

Peace, peace,
In your gardens and in your groves,
In your houses and your villages,
For you will be called a delight,
A lamp of awe,
A beacon of wonder,
A source of healing,
And a well of inspiration,
Among your people Israel.

© 2015 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: This prayer also alludes to another line from the Yom Kippur morning haftarah: “Peace, peace to him that is far off and him that is near…” (Isaiah 57:19), offering healing to those who walk a path of righteousness. The haftarah portion for Yom Kippur morning is Isaiah 57:14-58:14. Here’s a link to an annotated list of my prayers for the Yamim Noraim.

Tweetable! Click here to tweet this: “Is this the Fast?” A powerful social justice prayer based on Isaiah 58:6-7 from @ToBendLight.

Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Source: Northshore Community Church

Ki Tisa 5775: Dust and Water

Posted on: March 3rd, 2015 by Alden

the-adoration-of-the-golden-calf-1966After seeing the Israelites worshiping a golden calf and smashing the tablets of the covenant, Moses melts the idol, grinds it to powder, casts it into water “…and made the children of Israel drink of it.” (Exodus 32:20)

Dust and Water
I have tasted
The dust of my sins,
The grit of my misdeeds,
The sludge of bad thoughts
And wrong action.

I have tasted
The pure water of goodness,
The font of my charity,
The clarity of good intentions
And generous acts.

G-d,
I am but flesh and blood,
Prone to error,
Inclined to holiness.
Guide me.
Support me.
Lead me to a life of celebration.
Let the rivers of righteousness
Overflow their banks,
Washing clean the dust of sorrow,
Washing clean the dust of fear and misdeed.
My hands will do Your work,
My feet with follow Your path,
And my life will be a well
Of awe and wonder.

© 2015 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: Consider using this prayer during the month of Elul and on Yom Kippur. Here are lists of prayers for the High Holidays: Elul, Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and Sukkot. Here’s a link to yizkor and memorial prayers.

Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Source: WikiArt: Marc Chagall, “Adoration of the Golden Calf”

The Greatest Sin

Posted on: September 28th, 2014 by Alden

Rosh Hashana 5775The High Holiday Vidui – the Jewish confessional prayer – contains a broad list of transgressions. This meditation suggests that the greatest sin of all is failure to create the conditions in our hearts and in our lives that lead to love of each other and service to G-d. The idea: if we engage always in these acts, there is no room for sin. In other words, the greatest transgression is to carelessly allow the conditions for sin to take root. See also: “Meditation Before the Yom Kippur Vidui”and “Meditation After the Yom Kippur Vidui.”

The Greatest Sin
The greatest sin
Is not to see
The miracle of each new day
Or to fill our days with hope
And love.

The greatest sin
Is not to see
The miracle of each new breath
Or to fill each breath with joy
And service.

The roots of sin
Are hatred and idle hands.
The roots of holiness
Are love and work.

G-d of wisdom,
Grant me the ability
To see the flow of miracles around me,
In awe and wonder,
So that I become of vessel of Your glory,
And an instrument of Your holy name.

Then, I will rejoice,
Rededicating my life to You,
With prayer
And with deeds of loving-kindness.

© 2014 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: Here are links to prayers for Elulprayers for Rosh Hashanaprayers for Yom Kippur and prayers for Sukkot. Here’s a link to yizkor and memorial prayers.

Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Source: Temple Beth Elohim

Meditation on the Eve of a New Year

Posted on: September 24th, 2014 by Alden

Rosh Hashana 5775 Card ChabadA new meditation — written this morning — as the year 5774 comes to an end. May 5775 bring hope, blessing and peace. Instructions for using this meditation are found in [brackets]. May you have a year of health and happiness, joy and laughter, livelihood, sustenance, prayer and love.

Meditation on the Eve of a New Year
G-d,
Dear G-d,
We stand at the cusp of a New Year,
Looking forward, looking backward,
So much accomplished,
So much neglected,
Gains and losses,
Joys and sorrows,
Victories and defeats.
A life.
My life.

You,
G-d of Old,
You are Steadfast Witness,
Source and Shelter.
I bend my heart to You,
Recalling these gifts:

[Part 1: Think about, say out loud or write down blessings in your life, including: people, places, events and things. Be specific: a son, daughter, niece, nephew, brother or sister, by name; a wedding a birth or other joyous occasion, with names; seeing a sunrise or a rare bird; a favorite shirt, a new bed, a home repair or expansion; a new job. See how beautifully detailed and long you can make the list, seeing the many blessings that flow through your life.]

[Part 2: If you can, name the blessings that arose from sorrows, for example: a merciful death, an end to suffering or beautiful eulogy for someone, by name; rebuilding after a disaster; potential new life after a divorce. Don’t force it; be true to how you actually feel, not how you think you ‘should’ feel. If you can, try to see how, sometimes, even in times of sorrow there can be gifts.]

G-d,
My G-d,
For consolation in my grief,
For sunlight and midnight,
For hope in my celebrations,
For warmth and for shelter,
For current and tide,
For family and for friends,
For the flow of beauty and grace,
I bend my life back to You,
As the New Year descends,
In love and in service,
My offering
To Your Holy Name.

© 2014 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: Here’s a related meditation called “Another Year: An Introspection” and a link to prayers and stories for the Yamim Noraim, the High Holy Days, listed by topic, some of which my book, Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing.

Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter. Please take a moment to explore my book, Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing.

Photo Source: Chabad.org

 

Gates

Posted on: September 20th, 2014 by Alden

Gate Beth EmetStanding before the gates of heaven in prayer – yearning for them to stay open long enough for true repentance to be heard – is a classic High Holy Day metaphor. The inspiration for this prayer comes from Isaiah, the haftorah read on Shabbat Nitzavim. “Pass through, pass through the gates… Tell fair Zion: Your deliverance is coming!” This prayer envisions each of us briefly entering G-d’s holy realm to be restored. I wrote it at the request of my friend Rabbi Andrea London for the 5775 Beth Emet—The Free Synagogue congregational holiday card. I also took the photo used on the card, shown here. My other prayers using the metaphor of gates include: “At the Gates” and “The Entry to Our Hearts.”

Gates
Keep the gates open,
Holy One,
Keep them open a little longer,
So that my repentance and my yearning
May yet enter Your holy realm.

Keep the gates open,
Compassionate One,
So that our hearts may dwell,
To be refreshed in Your sacred space,
To be restored with justice and mercy,
To be nurtured and renewed with awe and wonder.

Rock of Israel,
Source and Shelter,
Keep the gates open,
So that when we leave this holy place
We remember and know
That wisdom and understanding surround us,
That peace and joy will yet follow,
That holiness and love will yet prevail.

© 2014 Alden Solovy, Beth Emet-The Free Synagogue and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: This prayer was written in Israel during the 2014 Gaza war known as “Operation Protective Edge.” The last two lines of this prayer were strongly influenced by the war. I’m grateful to Rabbi London for this opportunity and for her suggestions. My other prayers using the metaphor of gates include: “At the Gates” and “The Entry to Our Hearts.” Here are links to prayers for Elulprayers for Rosh Hashanaprayers for Yom Kippur and prayers for Sukkot. Here’s a link to yizkor and memorial prayers.

Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Source: Alden Solovy

The Entry to Our Hearts

Posted on: September 14th, 2014 by Alden

SONY DSCFor the one crushed by sorrow, hope can be a prayer, a prayer of repentance, a prayer for healing. This is a High Holiday prayer for hope and healing – a kind of repentance – for someone deep in loss and despair. At first, it twists the classic metaphor of approaching the gates of repentance, the way grief distorts the way we see the world. Then it softens to a simple question: “What shall we say before You, G-d Old?” Here’s another prayer that uses the same metaphor, called “At the Gates.”

The Entry to Our Hearts
Who mourns at the gates of righteousness
And dances at the gates of desolation?
Who laughs at the gates of judgment,
And cries at the gates of peace?
Who sings at the gates of misfortune,
And howls at the gates of blessing?
Who shouts at the gates of mercy,
Standing mute at the gates of penance?

Ancient One,
Source and Shelter,
We stand at the gates,
At the entry to our hearts,
At the passage to mystery,
At the crossroad of uncertainty.
What shall we say before You,
G-d of Old,
In this sorrow and this despair?
Let these prayers be for healing.
Let these prayers be for life.

Blessed are You,
G-d of Mercy,
You lead us from darkness to light,
From mourning to rejoicing,
From repentance to service,
So we may build our lives, anew.

© 2014 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: Here’s another prayer that uses the same metaphor, called “At the Gates.” This “Meditation before Neilah” does not mention the word ‘gates,’ but it uses the urgency of standing before the gates to create the internal emotion. Here are links to prayers for Elulprayers for Rosh Hashanaprayers for Yom Kippur and prayers for Sukkot. Here’s a link to yizkor and memorial prayers. Please take a look at my book, Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing.

Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Source: Alden Solovy

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