Posts Tagged ‘marital problems’


After His/Her Infidelity

Posted on: August 19th, 2013 by tobendlight

break-upA friend recently asked me to write a prayer to be said by someone suffering after the infidelity of a spouse or partner. The victim of infidelity in his own marriage, he was now helping a friend cope with the same trauma. We spoke about his experiences, which were important in writing this prayer. I also gave him a copy of a prayer he could say on behalf of her spiritual healing, called “R’fuat HaNefesh: Healing the Soul.” This appears in my book This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day from CCAR Press.

After His/Her Infidelity
I thought that we were in love.
Was our past a lie?
Was I living a dream, a desire, a yearning?
After all we’ve been through together,
Was it false?
How long ago did your heart leave me?
How long ago did your hands and your eyes
Yearn for someone else?

Oh grief,
My soul is rent,
Torn apart by the one who promised
To help me find my way,
To help me journey through joy and sorrow,
To help me make myself whole.
You were once the warmth that held me.
You have become the blade that twists inside me.

God of compassion,
Grant me the strength to live a life of dignity and honor
In the face of this betrayal.
And the devastating abandonment by [some of] my friends and community.
Help me to believe that there is light after this darkness.
Bless me with the time and space for healing.
Grant me the willingness to renew my trust others,
And the ability to trust myself,
As I move into a new life.

God of mercy,
Be my hope when hope has left me.
Be my strength when my strength has crumbled.
Be my rock to anchor me through this cruel moment.
Be my courage to preserver and to rebuild,
To choose, once again, a life of awe and wonder.

© 2017 CCAR Press from This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers For a New Day

Postscript: Here’s a prayer to be said on removing a wedding band.

For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. Connect with To Bend Light on Facebook and on Twitter.

Photo Source: Cuddlebuggery

“Alden has become one of Reform Judaism’s master poet-liturgists…" - Religion News Service, Dec. 23, 2020

“Mesmerizing, spiritual, provocative, and thoughtful, Alden was everything you would want in a guest scholar and teacher.” – Rabbi Denise L. Eger, Congregation Kol Ami, Los Angeles, and Past President, CCAR

"Alden Solovy has become one of the most revered liturgists of the last decade…" - Jewish Post & Opinion, March 29, 2023

“Alden left everyone feeling inspired.” – Cantor Jeri Robins, Shabbat Chair, NewCAJE6