Jewish Prayers From the Heart and Pen of Alden Solovy

After His/Her Infidelity

break-upA friend recently asked me to write a prayer to be said by someone suffering after the infidelity of a spouse or partner. The victim of infidelity in his own marriage, he was now helping a friend cope with the same trauma. We spoke about his experiences, which were important in writing this prayer. I also gave him a copy of a prayer he could say on behalf of her spiritual healing, called “R’fuat HaNefesh: Healing the Soul.” This appears in my book This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day from CCAR Press.

After His/Her Infidelity
I thought that we were in love.
Was our past a lie?
Was I living a dream, a desire, a yearning?
After all we’ve been through together,
Was it false?
How long ago did your heart leave me?
How long ago did your hands and your eyes
Yearn for someone else?

Oh grief,
My soul is rent,
Torn apart by the one who promised
To help me find my way,
To help me journey through joy and sorrow,
To help me make myself whole.
You were once the warmth that held me.
You have become the blade that twists inside me.

God of compassion,
Grant me the strength to live a life of dignity and honor
In the face of this betrayal.
And the devastating abandonment by [some of] my friends and community.
Help me to believe that there is light after this darkness.
Bless me with the time and space for healing.
Grant me the willingness to renew my trust others,
And the ability to trust myself,
As I move into a new life.

God of mercy,
Be my hope when hope has left me.
Be my strength when my strength has crumbled.
Be my rock to anchor me through this cruel moment.
Be my courage to preserver and to rebuild,
To choose, once again, a life of awe and wonder.

© 2017 CCAR Press from This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers For a New Day

Postscript: Here’s a prayer to be said on removing a wedding band.

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3 Responses to “After His/Her Infidelity”

  1. Brenda Epstein

    Wow! A seeming departure for you! I like it, very much!

    • tobendlight

      Hi Brenda – So nice to hear from you. Interesting observation. Over the coming months I’ll be posting a variety of new prayers addressing some difficult issues, such as alcoholism, self-abuse and mental illness. Most of them will be in my book. Warm regards, Alden

  2. Women's Healing

    I’m trying to find organizations that may give funds to nonprofits dedicated to women’s healing and self-empowerment. Our all-volunteer organization provides free, confidential, one-to-one peer counseling to women healing from their husband’s or partner’s infidelity, and all counseling is provided by other women who have themselves survived this emotional trauma. Based in California, we serve women who call us from across the United States, and we believe we are the only organization of its kind.

    So, I am leaving no stone unturned and asking anyone who has anything to do with the well-being of women! Any ideas of where we might turn for funding? Thanks very much.

    If you have ideas or information, please comment here.


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