Tag Archive for "grief" | To Bend Light

Posts Tagged ‘grief’

Resources for 9/11

Posted on: September 7th, 2013 by tobendlight

Individuals and clergy members continue to look for meaningful prayers and meditations to use to commemorate the attacks of September 11, 2001. Here’s an annotated list of prayers suitable for public and private memorials, including “A Liturgy for 9-11,” written for the 10th anniversary of the attacks on the U.S. Please email this page to anyone who may be in need of a memorial prayer or a prayer for healing.

Memorial Prayers

At the Hand of Terror: A 9-11 Yizkor Prayer – A memorial prayer to be said for specific victims
At the Hand of Terror II: A 9-11 Memorial Prayer – A general memorial prayer to be said for all victims
Memorial Prayer for 9-11 First Responders – To honor the fallen first responders
At the Hand of Violence: A Yizkor Prayer – A memorial all who died by violence

For Survivors

For 9-11 Survivors – For healing 9/11 survivors
For Terror Survivors – For healing terror survivors
For Bereaved Children – For healing children who’ve lost parents
For the Bereaved – For healing all who are bereaved

Prayers for a Better World

For First Responders – For the safety of all first responders
To the Terrorist – For the terrorist to find a new path
Against Tyranny – A prayer against oppressive regimes

The original four prayers in “A Liturgy for 9-11” were written to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the attack. See that post to read the story of how and why I wrote these prayers. The response to the original post was overwhelming. Here’s a link to an overview of some of the ways these prayers were used as part of 10th commemoration activities.

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Photo Source: Wikimedia Commons, the “Tribute in Light” memorial is composed of two banks of high wattage spotlights that point straight up from a lot next to Ground Zero. The photo was taken from Liberty State Park, N.J., on the five-year anniversary of 9/11.

Memorial Prayer for a Child

Posted on: August 29th, 2013 by tobendlight

For those who struggle with this unimaginable loss, a memorial prayer for grieving parents. May you find comfort, strength and renewal. Here’s a related “Meditation on the Burial of a Young Child” and one you can say on behalf of your surviving children called “For Bereaved Children.” This prayer appears my book, Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing.

Memorial Prayer for a Child
My child,
Dear _________________ [first name],
You are love in my heart
And tears in my eyes.
You are longing in my chest,
A well of memories,
Joyous and crushing,
Holy and touched by sorrow.
My yearning for you will never cease.

G-d of all Being,
Grant my/our son/daughter _______________ [full name]
A perfect rest under Your tabernacle of peace.
Guide his/her soul back to Your holy realm,
For he/she left this world
According to Your will,
Too soon for me,
Too soon for me.

Grant our family strength as we move forward,
A tribute to Your healing
In memory of our dear daughter/son.
May his/her soul be bound up in the bond of life,
An eternal blessing in our midst.

Postscript: See also: “Meditation on the Burial of a Young Child,” “For Bereaved Children,” “After Shiva” and “For the Bereaved.”

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Photo Source: Micah Wessman Foundation

After His/Her Infidelity

Posted on: August 19th, 2013 by tobendlight

A friend recently asked me to write a prayer to be said by someone suffering after the infidelity of a spouse or partner. The victim of infidelity in his own marriage, he was now helping a friend cope with the same trauma. We spoke about his experiences, which were important in writing this prayer. I also gave him a copy of a prayer he could say on behalf of her spiritual healing, called “R’fuat HaNefesh: Healing the Soul.” This appears in my book This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day from CCAR Press.

After His/Her Infidelity
I thought that we were in love.
Was our past a lie?
Was I living a dream, a desire, a yearning?
After all we’ve been through together,
Was it false?
How long ago did your heart leave me?
How long ago did your hands and your eyes
Yearn for someone else?

Oh grief,
My soul is rent,
Torn apart by the one who promised
To help me find my way,
To help me journey through joy and sorrow,
To help me make myself whole.
You were once the warmth that held me.
You have become the blade that twists inside me.

God of compassion,
Grant me the strength to live a life of dignity and honor
In the face of this betrayal.
And the devastating abandonment by [some of] my friends and community.
Help me to believe that there is light after this darkness.
Bless me with the time and space for healing.
Grant me the willingness to renew my trust others,
And the ability to trust myself,
As I move into a new life.

God of mercy,
Be my hope when hope has left me.
Be my strength when my strength has crumbled.
Be my rock to anchor me through this cruel moment.
Be my courage to preserver and to rebuild,
To choose, once again, a life of awe and wonder.

Postscript: Here’s a prayer to be said on removing a wedding band.

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Photo Source: Cuddlebuggery

Prayer for the People of London

Posted on: July 7th, 2013 by tobendlight

This is a new memorial prayer for the victims of the 7 July London bombings. It’s an adaptation of prayers I wrote in response to violence in Norway and attacks in Mumbai, which were based on two of my other prayers, “At the Hand of Violence” and “In Devastation.” I also used these prayers as the basis of a piece called “For the Jews of France” which has been translated of into French as “Aux Juifs de France.”

For the People of London
Author of life,
Grant peace and consolation
To the victims of terror in London,
Where 52 innocents were murdered,
Where more than 700 were wounded,
And where the heart of a democratic nation was attacked,
In an act of calculated terror.

Source and Creator,
Grant a perfect rest under your tabernacle of peace
To the victims of the 7/7 bombings,
Men and women whose lives were cut off
In an act of witless aggression.
Remember the survivors of this horror.
May the years that have passed,
And the years to come,
Grant them shelter and solace,
Comfort and consolation,
Blessing and courage.
May their healing —
And the healing of this nation —
Continue with devotion and courage.

Heavenly Guide,
Hand of love and shelter,
Put an end to anger and hatred,
Bigotry and fear.
Let terrorists put down their weapons
To discover a new path.
May the victims of all violence
Find hope and renewal.
Lead us to a time when no one
Suffers or dies at the hand of another.

Postscript: I wasn’t writing prayers when the 7/7 or the 9/11 attacks took place. I wrote my first 9/11 prayers for the 10th memorial year after that attack. Perhaps, for the 10th memorial year of the 7/7 bombings, I will write full liturgy. Here’s my “Liturgy for 9-11,” including a prayer called “To the Terrorist.”

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Photo credit: WikiMedia Commons

Memorial Prayer for First Responders

Posted on: July 1st, 2013 by tobendlight

This is a memorial prayer for first responders, posted today for the fire fighters who lost their lives battling the Yarnell Hill fire. It’s group prayer for those who have lost their lives responding to specific emergencies. It’s modified from “Yizkor for First Responders,” a prayer for individual first responders that I first posted as part of “A Liturgy for 9-11.” I previously posted a specific version of this prayer for 9/11 first responders. For those of you with family and friends who serve in this capacity, here’s a prayer “For First Responders” as they head off into service to others.

Memorial Prayer for First Responders
G-d of the selfless,
G-d of the strong and the brave,
Grant a perfect rest among the souls of the righteous
To those who died in service to others during the
_________________________________________________ [ add name of event such as: the 9/11 attacks, the Mount Carmel fire, the Yarnell fire, etc.].
May their dedication to protecting life serve as a shining lamp of love
And the works of their hands bring us all merit in heaven.
Bless the souls of all who have died to save others,
Civilians and professionals,
The trained and the untrained,
In every age and in every land,
Men and women who answered the call of honor, duty and service.
May their memories be sanctified with joy and love.
May their souls be bound up in the bond of life,
A living blessing in our midst.

Postscript: Here’s a link to “A Liturgy for 9-11” and a prayer “For First Responders” as they head off into service to others.

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Photo Source: NOAA

For the People of the United States, From Israel

Posted on: April 19th, 2013 by tobendlight

As events unfold in Greater Boston, here’s a new prayer for the people of the United States, written from Israel. Although this prayer is aimed at the immediate wound of the Boston Marathon bombings, it carries a sensitivity toward other violence and tragedy. Here are two prayers which I previously posted in the wake of the bombings: “Bombing at the Boston Marathon” and “For Terror Survivors.”

For the People of the United States, From Israel
Ancient One,
Source and Creator,
Grant the people of the United States,
The citizens of Massachusetts,
And the greater community of Boston
Safety and shelter,
In these hours and days of fear and dread.
We, too, know the sound of gun fire,
The echo of explosions,
The terror and pain,
The loss and dismay,
The long wait for news
And long journey to heal.

As we remember the victims and survivors of this horror,
We also remember the suffering and despair that has
Wounded the nation:
School shootings,
Factory explosions,
Coal mine disasters,
Domestic terror,
Family violence and
International terror.

Renew this land, G-d of Old.
Protect the residents from physical harm.

Restore this people, G-d of Justice.
Shield them from emotional pain.

Heal this nation, G-d of Mercy.
Bind these wounds with your steadfast love.

Heavenly Guide,
Hand of consolation and shelter,
Grant the people of the United States Your protection
Your wholeness and peace.

Postscript: Click here to read the entire Liturgy for 9-11, including an overview of concerns that emerged in developing these prayers. It also includes suggestions for other prayers that fit with the themes of 9-11. Here are links to “To the Terrorist” and “Memorial Prayer for 9-11 First Responders.”

Photo Credit: TV image from a Facebook post

For Terror Survivors

Posted on: April 17th, 2013 by tobendlight

In the wake of the bombings at the Boston Marathon, I’ve taken a prayer published as part of “A Liturgy for 9-11”and generalized it for all terror victims. A new optional line is shown in [brackets] includes the opportunity to name one or more specific acts of terror. This prayer was originally written for the HUC-JIR continuing education blog Tzeh U’limad to provide clergy with resources for 10th anniversary of the 9-11 attacks. Click here to read the prayer “Bombing at the Boston Marathon” and one “For the People of the United States, From Israel.”

For Terror Survivors
God of the survivor,
God of the mourner and the witness,
Grant solace and peace to those still held by physical, emotional and spiritual distress from acts of terror.
Remember now those who are suffering from trauma after the ___________ (add name of event, such as Boston Marathon bombings, 9-11 attacks, Sbarro restaurant suicide bombing, Sandy Hook massacre).
Release them from visions of death and destruction.
Release them from guilt or shame, from fear or anger.
Bind their wounds with Your steadfast love.
Lift them on Your wings of kindness and grace.

Blessed are those who have found peace.

Blessed are those without tranquility.

Blessed are those who speak.

Blessed are those who stay silent.

Blessed are those who have healed.

Blessed are those who suffer.

Blessed are those who forgive.

Blessed are those who cannot forgive.

Blessed are You, God of healing, Source of strength for survivors of violence and tragedy in every land and in every age. Blessed are You, Source of hope and comfort.

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Photo Credit: BostInno

Bombing at the Boston Marathon

Posted on: April 16th, 2013 by tobendlight

This is a prayer for healing in response to the bombing at the Boston Marathon, written today at the request of the Union for Reform Judaism. The prayer first appeared on ReformJudaism.org earlier today.

Bombing at the Boston Marathon
Author of life
Source and Creator,
Grant a perfect rest
Under your tabernacle of peace
To the victims of the bombings in Boston,
Whose lives were cut off by a calculated act of violence
Striking at a moment of celebration,
Striking at the joy in sport and competition,
Striking in the city of liberty and freedom.

G-d of justice and mercy,
Watch over the wounded and injured.
Restore them with Your healing power.
Grant them endurance to survive,
Strength to rebuild and
Courage to heal.
Remember the survivors of this attack,
The victims and bystanders,
Their families and friends,
The witnesses of shock, horror and dismay.
Ease their suffering and release their trauma.
Grant them shelter and solace,
Comfort and consolation,
Blessing and renewal.

Heavenly Guide,
Hand of love and shelter,
Put an end to anger and fear,
Hatred and brutality,
Cruelty and bloodshed,
And lead us to a time when no one will suffer at the hand of another.
Grant the people of the United States Your protection
And the people of Boston Your wholeness and peace.

Postscript: See also “At the Hand of Violence: A Yizkor Prayer,” “For Bereaved Children” and “For the Bereaved.”

For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter. If you like this prayer, please post a link to Facebook, your blog or mention it in a tweet.

Photo Credit: Boston Marathon Bombing / FB

Yom HaShoah Prayers and Poems

Posted on: April 6th, 2013 by tobendlight

This is a set of six prayers for Yom HaShoah. They can be used as private meditations or in a communal commemoration. Together they serve as a Yom HaShoah liturgy, listed below in suggested order. There are two memorial prayers: a general prayer evoking the unity of Israel, followed by a Shoah memorial prayer. The liturgy ends with our eternal bond to the land of Israel and an affirmation in our faith in the G-d of Israel. Each of the links below includes a brief description followed by a quote from the prayer. To read the full prayer, click on the title.

“Tears of Crystal, Tears of Broken Glass” – Using the metaphor of Kristallnacht, this poem reminds us that G-d cries together with us over the suffering of the Jewish people. “My tears are crystal and broken glass. They sparkle, they cut. They heal, they wound. They are daybreak and midnight, hymn and dirge…”
“For the Bereaved” – A general prayer of mourning that evokes the unity of Israel. “We the mourners of Zion and Israel comfort each other. We console the lonely and embrace the lost…”
“Shoah Memorial Prayer” – A Yom HaShoah memorial prayer that echoes the traditional Yizkor prayer. “Creator of all, Source and shelter, grant a perfect rest under your tabernacle of peace to those who perished in the Holocaust…”
“After the Horror” – A meditation about reclaiming life in the shadow of unthinkable atrocity. “Hold fast to the breath of life. Hold fast to the song of life. Hold fast to the soul of life. This is my sacred duty…”
“Israel: A Meditation” – On the love for the people and the State of Israel. “Israel, you are my brother in history, my sister in fortune, the mother of my spirit, the father of my heart, the child of my longing and the light of generations. To you…”
“Affirmation of Faith” – An affirmation of faith built around the sine qua non of Jewish affirmations: the Shema. “Hear O Israel, the covenant we made together on Sinai ts a pledge for all time, a vow for the ages…”

Postscript: See also “At the Hand of Anti-Semitism: A Yizkor Prayer” and a prayer “For the Jews of France.”

Please check out my ELItalk “Falling in Love with Prayer” and This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day. For reprint permissions and usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” To receive my latest prayers via email, please subscribe (on the home page). You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Credit: Highland Park Conservative Temple

Aux Juifs de France: Toulouse, 19 Mars 2012

Posted on: March 18th, 2013 by tobendlight

In memory of the victims of the anti-Semitic violence in Toulouse one year ago, here’s a French translation of my prayer “For the Jews of France,” as well as a link to the prayer in English. The translation is by Genevieve Begue, a woman with an amazing amount of energy and joy for living whom I met during a winter 2012 ulpan at Ben Gurion University of the Negev. My deepest thanks to Genevieve for the translation and her continuing support of my writing. See also: “At the Hand of Anti-Semitism: A Yizkor Prayer.”

Aux Juifs de France
Auteur de la vie,
L’homme est devenu violent,
Fauchant enfants et maîtres
A Toulouse, en France,
Nos jeunes et nos leaders,
Nos frères et soeurs,
Anéantissant des vies,
Bouleversant des rêves,
Attaquant l’espoir avec la haine.

Source et Créateur,
Accorde un repos parfait sous ton tabernacle de paix
Aux victimes de Toulouse
Dont les vies furent interrompues par la violence,
Un acte d’aggression stupide
Et d’anti-Sémitisme calculé.
Rappelle-toi les survivants de cette atrocité,
Et les victimes de toute violence, souffrance ou désespoir.
Accorde-leur refuge et secours,
Confort et consolation,
Grâce et renouveau.
Accorde-leur l’endurance afin qu’ils survivent,
La force de reconstruire,
La foi dans le deuil,
Le courage de guérir,
Et la dévotion l’un à l’autre.

Guide divin,
Main d’amour et refuge,
Met fin à la haine et la colère,
A la peur et la bigoterie,
Et conduit-nous à ce temps,
Quand plus un ne souffre à la merci d’un autre.

Pour le bien de notre peuple,
Et pour celui de Ton Saint Nom,
Accorde aux Juifs de France Ta protection,
Ta guérison et ton intégrité,
Et accorde-leur Ta paix.

Postscript: Please ask others to pray for the Jews of France by posting a link to this prayer on your Facebook wall or blog. This prayer is an adaptation of prayers I wrote in response to violence in Norway and attacks in Mumbai, which were based on two of my other prayers, “At the Hand of Violence” and “In Devastation.” Find related prayers in my “Liturgy for 9-11.” Thanks again to Genevieve.

Photo credit: Soutien aux familles des victimes et à la communauté Juive de Toulouse on Facebook

Posts Tagged ‘grief’

Resources for 9/11

Memorial Prayers

For Survivors

Prayers for a Better World

Memorial Prayer for a Child

After His/Her Infidelity

Prayer for the People of London

Memorial Prayer for First Responders

For the People of the United States, From Israel

For Terror Survivors

Bombing at the Boston Marathon

Yom HaShoah Prayers and Poems

Aux Juifs de France: Toulouse, 19 Mars 2012

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