Posts Tagged ‘separating from a life partner’

 

This Ring: An Ending (Long Version)

Posted on: January 6th, 2013 by tobendlight No Comments

Wedding_ringsThis is an extended version of “This Ring: An Ending,” a meditation to be said on the act of removing a wedding band. My initial goal was to create a concise prayer versatile enough to be used either after a divorce or after the death of a life partner, which I explain on the post for the short version of this prayer. Eight months after writing it, my sense is that a longer prayer – with some specific directions – would be a useful alternative. Three optional sections are identified with [brackets]: two with instructions, one with optional language. This prayer will appear in my forthcoming book, Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing.

This Ring: An Ending (Long Version)
When I put your ring on my finger
I wrapped it around my heart.
A dream fulfilled.
A moment ripe with potential.

In removing this ring from my finger
I release my heart
With grief and joy,
Uncertainty and faith,
In unequal measures.

[Remove ring; set it aside or hand it to someone, the reverse of the wedding process]

Ancient One,
G-d of compassion and grace,
Let this moment be a blessing
So that healing continues
To flow into my hours and days.

[Grant my children
Comfort and relief,
Solace and understanding,
In the days and weeks ahead.
Let me be a source of strength and consolation for them,
An unbroken source of love.]

Grant me the insight
To honor the past and embrace the future
With dignity and passion,
Wisdom and thanksgiving,
Kindness and charity.
Then, G-d of life,
I will return in wholeness
To a life of joy,
To song and dance,
Laughter and praise,
As a beacon of Your light,
A source of hope and peace.

[Add Sheheciyanu, Kaddish, Birkat HaGomel or another reading, perhaps a poem or song.]

© 2013 Alden Solovy and www.tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: For some people removing a wedding band will be a Shehciyanu moment. For others, it’s clearly a Kaddish moment. Someone who escaped abuse – or survived an accident in which their life partner perished – might consider using Birkat Hagomel. Some will use this prayer in a solitary setting. Others will use it as part of a healing ceremony of their own design that takes place in the company of friends or family. Here’s a prayer “For Bereaved Children,” for healing the grief of our children, appropriate for parents to say whether the loss is by death or divorce.

For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. Connect with To Bend Light on Facebook and on Twitter.

Photo Credit: Jeff Belmonte’s Photostream via Wikimedia Commons

This Ring: An Ending

Posted on: April 29th, 2012 by tobendlight No Comments

Wedding_ringsThis meditation is to be said on the act of removing a wedding band. My goal: a prayer versatile enough to be used either after a divorce or after the death of a life partner. To be successful, the prayer would therefore need to acknowledge a range of emotions, allowing individuals to hear and say the prayer from the perspective of their own life experiences. The first line of the prayer honors the act of putting on the ring, thus acknowledging the hopes and dreams of the past – the binding that requires an unbinding – creating the raison d’être for this prayer. This appears in my new book This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day from CCAR Press.

This Ring: An Ending
When I put this ring on my finger
I wrapped it around my heart.

In removing this ring from my finger
I release my heart
With grief and joy,
Uncertainty and faith,
In unequal measures.

Ancient One,
God of compassion and grace,
Let this moment be a blessing
So that healing continues
To flow into my hours and days.
Grant me the strength and insight
To honor the past and embrace the future
With dignity and passion,
Wisdom and thanksgiving,
Kindness and charity.
Then, God of wholeness and healing,
I will return to song and dance,
Laughter and praise,
As a beacon of Your light,
A source of joy, hope and love.

© 2017 CCAR Press from This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers For a New Day

Postscript: This prayer might also be used after removing an engagement ring. Thanks to my friend Rabbi Ruth Abusch-Magder for the idea for this prayer. Thanks to my dear cousin Irwin Keller for his comments and suggestions on an early draft of this prayer. Here’s a prayer “For Bereaved Children,” for healing the grief of our children, appropriate for parents to say whether the loss is by death or divorce.

Please check out my Meet the Author video and This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day. For reprint permissions and usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” To receive my latest prayers via email, please subscribe (on the home page). You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

“Alden has become one of Reform Judaism’s master poet-liturgists…" - Religion News Service, Dec. 23, 2020

“Mesmerizing, spiritual, provocative, and thoughtful, Alden was everything you would want in a guest scholar and teacher.” – Rabbi Denise L. Eger, Congregation Kol Ami, Los Angeles, and Past President, CCAR

"Alden Solovy has become one of the most revered liturgists of the last decade…" - Jewish Post & Opinion, March 29, 2023

“Alden left everyone feeling inspired.” – Cantor Jeri Robins, Shabbat Chair, NewCAJE6