Posts Tagged ‘grief’

 

Loss of Pregnancy (Men/Partner)

Posted on: February 20th, 2013 by tobendlight

couples-pregnancy-loss-270This is the second of two prayers to be used at the loss of a pregnancy. Here’s a link to the first, words for the once-pregnant woman. This prayer is for her husband or partner. The two have a parallel structure, with similar themes and cadence moving throughout, with slightly different emotions and points-of-view reflected in the wording. Optional lines appear in [brackets]. Gender choices are identified with a slash, “/”. Both prayers appear in Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing.

Loss of a Pregnancy (Partner)
G-d of Old,
What can I say before You?
I am crushed,
Flattened by sadness,
Cut down by grief.
Yet my wife/partner/spouse needs
My courage and my tears,
My gentleness and my strength.
Our lives,
Once ripe with promise,
Feel vacant and hollow,
And I have touched
A new loneliness and despair.

[Rock of Ages,
Why have You raised our hopes only to take them away?
Why have you abandoned our prayers and our dreams?
What comfort remains?]

Source and Shelter,
Teach me to honor, to balance and to express
Both my pain and my fortitude,
My endurance and my sorrow,
In service to You,
In service to my wife/partner/spouse,
In service to myself.
Lead me/us out of this darkness,
Back to awe and wonder,
So I/we may know,
Once again,
Hope and joy,
Gratitude and peace.

© 2013 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: See also “Loss of a Pregnancy.” Here are links to two mourner’s prayers: “After Shiva” and “For the Bereaved.”

If you use this prayer, please click “like” on this page and subscribe. Please take a moment to post a link to your Facebook page, your blog or mention it in a tweet. Thanks. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!

Photo Credit: Mom Logic

Loss of Pregnancy

Posted on: February 17th, 2013 by tobendlight

miscarriage1This is one of two prayers for a difficult moment, the loss of pregnancy. This is for the once-pregnant woman. The other is for her husband/partner. They have a parallel structure, with similar themes and cadence moving throughout, with slightly different emotions and points-of-view reflected in the wording. Optional lines appear in [brackets]. Gender choices are identified with a slash, “/”. These prayers appears in my book, Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing.

Loss of a Pregnancy
G-d of Old,
This pain has no breath,
This pain has no light,
This pain has no bottom,
An emptiness in the core of my being.
My heart, my breath, my womb,
Once full, once vital,
Once pulsing in service to creation,
Are vacant and hollow,
And I have touched a new sorrow,
A new loneliness,
A new grief.

[Rock of Ages,
Why have You raised my hope only to take it away?
Why have you abandoned my prayers and my dreams?
What comfort remains?]

Source and Shelter,
See me through the hours and days ahead with compassion and grace.
Help me to treat myself [and my husband/partner/spouse]
With kindness, patience and understanding.
Lead me out of this darkness,
Back to awe and wonder,
So I may know,
Once again,
Hope and joy,
Gratitude and peace.

© 2013 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: Here are links to two mourner’s prayers: “After Shiva” and “For the Bereaved.”

If you use this prayer, please click “like” on this page and subscribe. Please take a moment to post a link to your Facebook page, your blog or mention it in a tweet. Thanks. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!

Photo Credit: A Daddy Blog

We Are Music

Posted on: February 6th, 2013 by tobendlight

music-notesThis prayer/poem is about embodying the music of life and hearing the music created when we move in and out of moments together. It’s my second incorporating instructions to the reader into the prayer. The first is called “Invitations.” This appears in This Joyous Soul: A New Voice for Ancient Yearnings from CCAR Press.

We Are Music
Quiet now.
Listen.
Breathe.
And listen.

You are music.
Your breath and hands,
Your smile and tears,
Your eyes and pulse,
Are notes that dance
In the space between us.

We are music.
A symphony conducted
By the rhythm of life,
By G-d’s hand,
By our choices, day-by-day.

Our notes play on,
Separately, together,
The sacred sound of living.
Our music waltzes,
Making melodies fresh and new,
Never heard again,
Bass lines that pulse from our hearts
To the Soul of the Universe.

Joy bends sorrow.
Sorrow bends hope.
Hope bends grief.
Grief bends love.
Love bends joy.

Quiet now.
Listen.
Breathe.
And listen.

The silence is your longing.
The silence is your yearning for a different song.
The music of your own will
Blocks your heart to the harmonies
Already dancing around you,
To the chorus already singing around you.

Oh, you hidden delight of heaven.
Oh, you secret gift of G-d.
We are music.
We are music.
The music plays
Through us.

© 2019 CCAR Press from This Joyous Soul: A New Voice for Ancient Yearnings

Postscript: Please see also: “Life as a Symphony,” “Invitations,” “For the Gift of Song” and “For the Gift of Music.”

Please check out my ELItalk video, “Falling in Love with Prayer,” and This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day. For reprint permissions and usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” To receive my latest prayers via email, please subscribe (on the home page). You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Credit: Picks and Sticks Music

Meditation on the Burial of a Young Child

Posted on: December 16th, 2012 by tobendlight

Flower GraveThis prayer is a response to the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School. It can be used as a private meditation or as part of a funeral service. Gender selections are identified with a slash (“his/her”), there are two places to insert the name of the child and an optional section, identified with [brackets], for adding memories and personal reflections. Here’s a prayer “For the Children of Newtown.” May the memories of the righteous be a blessing.

Meditation on the Burial of a Young Child
My dear __________ [name of the child],
My son/daughter/child,
Your hands were so small,
Your skin, so smooth,
Your smile, as bright as sunlight.
We had so little time,
And so much more to do, to discover, to share.

Oh grief,
Oh loneliness and sorrow,
The coffin that holds you is so small,
The wood, so smooth,
This moment, dark with despair.
And still, your laughter echoes in my heart
And your face shines in my eyes.

[If desired, speak silently or aloud memories and moments
To honor the life of your child and the difficult days ahead.]

G-d of compassion,
Grant our family the wisdom to be gentle with each other
In these hours of grievous loss.
Lead us on the path to hope and renewal
So that we may become a well
Of comfort and support for each other.

G-d of All,
Grant a perfect rest among the souls of the righteous
To ______________________ [name of the child],
My son/daughter/child who has gone to his/her eternal rest.
May his/her memory be sanctified with love and
May his/her soul be bound up in the bond of life,
A living blessing in our midst.

© 2012 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: This will appears in Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing. Here’s a link to a memorial prayer to be said for an individual killed “At the Hand of Violence” and a prayer “For Bereaved Children,” which can be said on behalf of the brothers and sisters of the victims.

Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo credit: Laume’s Studio

For the Children of Newtown

Posted on: December 15th, 2012 by tobendlight

Burning-CandlesThere are no words. Yet we need them. Words of consolation. Words of prayer.

This is an adaptation of “After a Deadly Rampage,” a general prayer of mourning and consolation. This adaptation reflects the sorrow and pain coming from the number of young children who died at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., as well as the number of families traumatized. Here’s a prayer “For Bereaved Children,” which can be said on behalf of the brothers and sisters of the victims, and a “Meditation on the Burial of a Child,” also written in response to the tragedy in Newtown. May the memories of the righteous be a blessing.

For the Children of Newtown
Author of life,
Source and Creator,
Grant a perfect rest under Your tabernacle of peace
To the victims of the massacre
In Newtown, Connecticut,
Children whose lives were cut off by violence,
All who fell at the hand of anger,
A rampage beyond understanding.
The future was severed.
Hopes, joys and dreams
Lost to brutality.
May their souls be bound up in the bond of life,
A living blessing in our midst.
May they rest in peace.

G-d of mercy,
Remember, too, the survivors of this attack,
Parents,
Sisters and brothers,
Witnesses of shock, horror and dismay.
Ease their suffering and release their trauma.
Grant them endurance to survive,
Strength to rebuild,
Faith to mourn,
And courage to heal,
So that they recover lives of joy and wonder.

Remember the families and friends
Of the dead and the bereaved
With comfort and consolation.
Grant them Your protection,
Your wholeness and healing.
May they find hope and grace.

Heavenly Guide,
Source of love,
Guard the children of Newtown.
Grant them Your shelter and solace,
Blessing and renewal.
Put an end to anger, hatred and fear
And lead us to a time when
No one will suffer at the hand of another,
Speedily, in our day.

© 2012 Alden Solovy and www.tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: This prayer is an adaptation of “After a Deadly Rampage,” which is an adaptation of “For the People of Norway.” Sadly, the number of mass killings made it clear that we need a more generalized prayer. Please also see “At the Hand of Violence,” a prayer for memory of an individual victim, and “For Bereaved Children,” for the brothers and sisters of the young victims.

If you use this prayer, please click “like” on this page and subscribe. Please take a moment to post a link to your Facebook page, your blog or mention it in a tweet. Thanks. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!

Photo Credit: The Candles Spot

After a Deadly Rampage

Posted on: July 21st, 2012 by tobendlight

Why ShootingThis is a prayer of mourning and consolation after a deadly rampage. There are so many mass attacks and school shootings that a general prayer is sadly necessary. The prayer focuses on the dead and the injured, making no reference to the gun control debate in the U.S. to provide a memorial prayer that we all can use at these times of horror. Please see “At the Hand of Violence” for prayer in memory of an individual. This prayer appears in Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing. May the memories of the righteous be a blessing.

After a Deadly Rampage
Author of life
Source and Creator,
Grant a perfect rest under Your tabernacle of peace
To the victims of the massacre
In _________________________ [add place of the event],
Whose lives were cut off by violence,
A rampage of witless aggression beyond understanding.
Their hopes were severed.
Their dreams were lost to brutality.
May their souls be bound up in the bond of life,
A living blessing in our midst.
May they rest in peace.

G-d of justice and mercy,
Remember, too, the survivors of this attack,
Witnesses of shock, horror and dismay.
Ease their suffering and release their trauma
So that they recover lives of joy and wonder.
Grant them Your shelter and solace,
Blessing and renewal.
Grant them endurance to survive,
Strength to rebuild,
Faith to mourn,
And courage to heal.

Remember the families and friends
Of the dead and the wounded.
With comfort and consolation.
Grant them Your protection,
Your wholeness and healing.
May they find hope and renewal.

Heavenly Guide,
Source of love and shelter,
Put an end to anger, hatred and fear
And lead us to a time when
No one will suffer at the hand of another,
Speedily, in our day.

© 2012 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: See also: “For the Children of Newtown” and “After the Washington Navy Yard Shootings.” This prayer is based on a “For the People of Norway.” Here’s a Yizkor prayer to be said for an individual killed “At the Hand of Violence.” Please also see this “Munich Massacre Memorial Prayer.”

Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Source: The Atlantic

Munich Massacre Memorial Prayer

Posted on: July 20th, 2012 by tobendlight

olympics-victims-at-munich-gamesHere is a memorial prayer for the 40th anniversary of the Munich massacre. The first stanza includes an allusion to the Eleh Ezkera, the liturgical poem that we will recite in just over a week on Tisha b’Av. The second and third stanzas are influenced strongly by this week’s attack on Israelis in Bourgas, Bulgaria. Also read this prayer “For Israel’s Olympic Athletes.”

Munich Massacre Memorial Prayer
Creator of all,
Source and shelter,
We remember as yesterday
The day of Olympic terror,
The day that our brothers,
Athletes and coaches,
Lost their lives to brutal violence
And our hearts are melting with sorrow.
We remember their joy and their dreams,
Their enthusiasm and their hope,
Their spirit and their valor,
Their love for each other
And their dedication to competition.
Grant them a perfect rest under Your tabernacle of peace.
Grant their families consolation and comfort
For Your Name’s sake
And for the sake of those who perished.

Ancient One,
Remember the virtues all who have
Died at the hand of hatred.
May their memory become our resolve
To protect our land and our people.
Watch over the defenders of Israel.
Bless them with safety and strength.
May their courage never falter.
Grant Your protection and shelter
To all who travel under the flag of Israel
In the name of cooperation, understanding and goodwill –
Athletes, musicians, performers, artists and scholars.
May their spirit be a shining light of integrity and honor.
Grant the whole house of Israel safety throughout the earth
Free from aggression and violence.

G-d of Old,
Shine a light of compassion into the world.
Put an end to malice, anger and fear.
Lead us to a time when no one will suffer at the hand of another,
A time when our people can travel without the threat of terror.
May the memories of those murdered
In the Munich massacre
Be sanctified with joy and love.
May their souls be bound up in the bond of life,
A living blessing in our midst.

© 2012 Alden Solovy and  tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: See also “For Israel’s Olympic Athletes,” “At the Hand of Anti-Semitism,” a Yizkor prayer, and “To the Terrorist,” a prayer of personal resolve to defend ourselves and for healing the mind of the terrorist. Please also read “For the Jews of France,” a prayer for safety and healing. Thanks again to my friend Brenda Epstein who suggested that I write a prayer to mark this anniversary.

If you like this prayer, post a link to your Facebook page, your blog or as part of a tweet. And don’t forget to click “like” on this page. Thanks. Please subscribe. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see Share the Prayer!

Bulgaria: Funerals and Responses

Posted on: July 18th, 2012 by tobendlight

Funerals will soon begin here in Israel for the victims of yesterday’s terrorist attack on Israelis in Bourgas, Bulgaria. Meanwhile, our government has fixed blame on Iran and has pledged a response. Funerals and responses. Grief and courage. Mourning and self-defense.

Here are two prayers: one for funerals, one a response. The first is a Yizkor prayer for victims of anti-Semitism. It also memorializes victims in every generation and includes prayers for the defenders of Israel and for the righteous of all nations. I wrote it after a brutal anti-Semetic attack in Toulouse, France. The second is a prayer for the terrorist. This is tricky. What do we pray on behalf of those who hate, murder and destroy? “To the Terrorist” is from of “A Liturgy for 9-11.”

At the Hand of Anti-Semitism: A Yizkor Prayer
Creator of all,
Source and shelter,
Grant a perfect rest under your tabernacle of peace
To ______________________ (name in Hebrew or your native tongue),
My [father / mother / sister / brother / child / wife / dear one/ friend]
Whose life was [lives were] cut off by violence,
An act of witless aggression
And calculated anti-Semitism.
We remember his / her / their wisdom, talents and skills,
Joy, laughter and tears.
We remember the works of his / her / their hands
And the message of his / her / their heart[s].
Let these memories continue to bless us
Even as we pray for him / her / them to find peace
In the world to come.
Remember the virtues of those who’ve died
At the hand of malice
In every generation.
Bless the defenders of Israel
With safety and strength,
And the righteous of all nations who
Provide protection, shelter and comfort
To our people.
Put an end to anger, hatred and fear
And lead us to a time when no one will suffer at the hand of another,
Speedily, in our days.
May the memory [memories] of _____________________ be sanctified with joy and love.
May his / her / their soul[s] be bound up in the bond of life,
A living blessing in our midst.

© 2012 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

To the Terrorist
You who would hold the sky captive,
The sea prisoner,
The land in chains…

You who hide in caves,
Retreat to the wilderness,
Disappear behind false names and forged papers…

You who smuggle guns and arms,
Hide rockets in cities and bombs in homes,
Build weapons against the innocent and the bystander…

You whose designs are destruction,
Whose plans are fear,
Whose joy is hate…

You who harden your hearts
And wrap yourselves in death…

What evil has robbed you of your love,
Your compassion,
Your goodness,
Your humanity?
What lies have invaded your minds
So that you choose to die in order to kill?

We who love our lives and liberty
Stand firm and strong against terror.
We will defend our nation and our people.
We will protect our land and our homes.
And we pray for you to find hope and comfort
In lives of peace.

© 2011 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: “To the Terrorist” is from a set of prayers called “A Liturgy for 9-11.” “At the Hand of Anti-Semitism” is an adaptation of two of my other Yizkor prayers: “At the Hand of Violence” and “At the Hand of Terror.” Please also read “For the Jews of France,” a prayer for safety and healing.

Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Season of Sorrow

Posted on: May 16th, 2012 by tobendlight

Sad_WomanThis is a prayer to turn seasons of sorrow into seasons of hope. Many of my friends appear to have a season that they associate with sorrow, a time when endings and bad moments appear to cluster. I wrote this in late March, thinking about the third anniversary of Ami’s z”l death. I’ve come to think of April as my season of loss. But I also met her in late April, just after my birthday. Two huge gains. Why did I let my sorrows define the season? This appears in my book, This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day.

Season of Sorrow
This is my season of sorrow.
A time when struggles recur and challenges arrive,
A time of endings and distress.
In this season I’ve known
Moments of pain,
Moments of sadness,
Moments of confusion.
Times of loss and
Times of grief,
Moments that stripped me of wisdom
And left me crushed and breathless,
Cold and in deepening shadow.

Holy One,
Help me recall my seasons of joy,
To recall with hope and praise
Your gifts and blessings.
Moments of laughter.
Moments of kindness.
Moments of peace.
Times of health. Times of clarity.
Moments that lifted my spirit
And comforted my heart.

In truth,
These joys and sorrows
Are gifts of holiness,
Gifts of mystery,
Gifts beyond my wisdom,
My knowledge,
My understanding.

Rock and Redeemer,
You are my comfort and my strength,
My light and my truth.

© 2017 CCAR Press from This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers For a New Day

Postscript: Here are other prayers about transitions and transformations: “Leaving,” “River” “Rhythms” and “Transitions.”

Please check out my Meet the Author video and This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day. For reprint permissions and usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Source: WikiMedia Commons

Shoah Memorial Prayer

Posted on: April 19th, 2012 by tobendlight

זכר צדיקים לברכה
A memorial prayer for those who perished in the Holocaust. This is the centerpiece of a six-prayer Yom HaShoah liturgy. This prayer appears in my book, Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing.

Shoah Memorial Prayer
Creator of all,
Source and shelter,
Grant a perfect rest under your tabernacle of peace
To those who perished in the Holocaust,
Our fathers and mothers,
Our sisters and brothers,
Our rabbis and teachers,
Our neighbors and children,
The named and the unnamed,
Whose lives were cut off by
Brutal, vicious, cunning and calculated violence.
May they find peace in the world to come.
Remember the survivors who have since passed away,
And the virtues of our people who’ve died at the hand of malice
In every generation.
We remember the works of their hands
And the messages of their hearts.
Bless the defenders of Israel with safety and strength,
And the righteous of all nations who provide
Protection, shelter and comfort to the Jewish people.
Let their deeds be a source of favor in heaven
And healing on earth.
Put an end to anger, hatred and fear
And lead us to a time when no one will suffer at the hand of another,
Speedily, in our days.
May the memories of all who faced these horrors
Be sanctified with joy and love.
May their souls be bound up in the bond of life,
A living blessing in our midst.

© 2012 Alden Solovy and tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: This prayer is adapted from “At the Hand of Anti-Semitism: A Yizkor Prayer.” Thanks to my friend Brenda Epstein for the suggestion. Here are two prayers appropriate for use commemorating Kristallnacht, Yom HaShoah and Tisha b’Av: “After the Horror” and “Tears of Crystal, Tears of Broken Glass.” Click here for a six-prayer Yom HaShoah liturgy.

Please check out my ELItalk “Falling in Love with Prayer” and This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day. For reprint permissions and usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” To receive my latest prayers via email, please subscribe (on the home page). You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Credit: Highland Park Conservative Temple

“Alden has become one of Reform Judaism’s master poet-liturgists…" - Religion News Service, Dec. 23, 2020

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