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Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Vayigash: Dear Brother, Dear Sister

Posted on: December 20th, 2012 by tobendlight

“Then Joseph could not refrain himself before all them that stood by him; and he cried: ‘Cause every man to go out from me.’ And there stood no man with him, while Joseph made himself known unto his brethren.” – Genesis 45:1

“And he fell upon his brother Benjamin’s neck, and wept; and Benjamin wept upon his neck. And he kissed all his brethren, and wept upon them; and after that his brethren talked with him.” Genesis 45:14-15

Perhaps the simplest and most powerful message in this week’s parahsa is that even in the face of deep wounds families can heal, families can recover. The moment must be right. Here are two related prayers “For Family” and for “Family Healing.”

Dear Brother, Dear Sister
How long,
Dear brother,
How long has it been
Since we saw each other?
Stood together?
Wept upon each other’s necks?

How long,
Dear sister,
How long has it been
Since we embraced?
Shared stories?
Shed tears of joy and affection?

Come, let me hold you.
Come, let me hear you.
Come, let me see you.

And this moment will be for gladness.
This moment will be for blessing.
This moment will be for service.
And this moment will be for love.

Blessed are You,
G-d of our fathers and mothers,
You rejoice when families unite.

Postscript: My other prayers about family include: “For the Patriarch,” “For the Matriarch,” “For Our Sisters,” “For Our Brothers” and “For the Family Historian.”

Please check out my ELItalk video, “Falling in Love with Prayer,” and This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day. For reprint permissions and usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” To receive my latest prayers via email, please subscribe (on the home page). You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Source: River Podcast

Shabbat Blessing for Children Who Have Left Home

Posted on: November 30th, 2012 by tobendlight

One of my great joys of parenthood is putting my hands on my daughters’ heads and blessing them. As they went off to college and to see the world, those opportunities diminished. Now we are an ocean apart. And still, every Shabbat, when I light my candles, I remember them in prayer, in blessing. Optional lines appear in [brackets].

Shabbat Blessing for Children Who Have Left Home
My children,
Dear ones,
You are light before my eyes.
I miss your laugh, your smile, your hug,
Your hand in mine.

Bless you on your journey.
Bless you in your home and on your travels.
May you be surrounded with
Joy and beauty,
Adventure and wonder,
Hope and love.
Let Torah and mitzvot guide your steps.
[Bless your family.]
[Heal your body and spirit.]
Let G-d’s goodness rain down upon you
From this Shabbat until the next,
And all the days of your life.

Postscript: My other prayers for children include: “On the Birth of a Child,” “Father’s Meditation,” “Meditation for a Child’s First Torah Reading,” “For My Child’s Surgery,” “For a Critically-Ill Child,” “My Child Leaves Home,” “On the Birth of Grandchildren” and “For Bereaved Children.”

Please check out my Meet the Author video and This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day. For reprint permissions and usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Credit: The Shiksa in the Kitchen

Family Healing

Posted on: November 8th, 2012 by tobendlight

This is a prayer for healing family wounds. Choices to tailor the prayer to particular situations are in [brackets]. Use this or other language to describe your family circumstances. My prayer “For Family” includes a similar message, more softly stated. This prayer appear in my forthcoming book, Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing.

Family Healing
G-d of Old,
Our family has been fractured,
Torn apart by _________________ [anger, violence, death, alcoholism, suicide, disease, mental illness, neglect, abuse, abandonment, finances],
Old wounds that have steeped into our bones and our blood,
Our thoughts and our words.
Release me from my anger and my guilt,
So I may see my kin with new eyes –
Their losses and fears,
Their pain and shame –
And therefore find a source of
Forgiveness and renewed love.

Well of Blessings,
Lead us to new vision and new wisdom,
The place where love rests safely in our hearts
And peace waits quietly in our hands.

G-d of Generations,
Grant healing to my family, speedily,
So that we may rejoice together in Your gifts,
With joy and thanksgiving.

Postscript: Here are prayers of family praise: “For the Patriarch,” “For the Matriarch,” “For Our Sisters,” “For Our Brothers” and “For the Family Historian.”

For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new
prayers, please subscribe. Connect with To Bend Light on Facebook and on Twitter.

Blessing For a Spouse / Partner

Posted on: March 9th, 2012 by tobendlight

I know a young couple who bless each other at the Shabbat table: they hold hands, look into each other’s eyes, then give and receive a blessing. This is a great addition to the Jewish custom of blessing our children. This piece appears in my book This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day from CCAR Press. I use it for day six of counting the Omer, “Bonding in Lovingkindness.”

Blessing For a Spouse / Partner
Holiness walks with you,
My beloved.
Your face glows,
Your eyes shine,
And beauty surrounds you.
You sparkle with joy and hope.
Your countenance shimmers with the wonder of Creation.
You bless the hours and the days.

Let the glory of heaven light your path.
May you know G-d’s blessing
And G-d’s shelter,
Even as you fill our lives with strength and purpose,
With Torah and Mitzvot,
With Shabbat and holy days,
With your radiance
And with your love.

Postscript: Here are three Sabbath prayers: “For the Arrival of Shabbat,” “Welcome, Sabbath Queen” and “About Shabbat” Here are two Sabbath stories: “Sarah Rivkah: A Challah Baking Story” and “Mendel Baruch: S’hema on Shabbat.”

Please check out my Meet the Author video and This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day. For reprint permissions and usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” To receive my latest prayers via email, please subscribe (on the home page). You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Credit: Caroline’s Journal

For Family

Posted on: July 6th, 2011 by tobendlight

This prayer is about remembering the love of family and the desire to heal the wounds that can come between us. A quick note about the structure: There are several choices, identified in [brackets], so that readers can tailor the prayer to their families. Gender selections are noted with a slash, such as “brother / sister” or “son / daughter.” Also see a related prayer called “Family Healing.” Both prayers appears in my book, Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing.

To listen along, click on the triangle in the bar below. The text follows.

For Family
G-d of generations,
Source of hope,
Flame of forgiveness,
Bless our family with kindness and respect,
Compassion and grace,
And the wisdom to heal the wounds of time.
Make me a brother/sister to my [brother(s) and sister(s)][siblings],
A son/daughter to my [father and mother][parents][step-mother][step-father],
A father/mother to my [son(s)][daughter(s)] and
A friend to my friends.
Give me the understanding and willingness
To be present in their moments of joy and grief,
Just as I pray that they will be present for mine.
Help me to forgive their weaknesses,
Just as I pray that they will forgive mine.
[For those who have harmed me, let me hold no anger or malice.]
May our bond [remain][become] powerful and sustaining
And our kinship a rock of support and strength.
Let love echo through my words
And dedication shine through my deeds.
Let my life become a testimony to the longings and aspirations
Of our ancestors.

Blessed are You, Adonai our G-d,
With love you gave us the gift of each other.

Postscript: Other prayers about family include: “Family Healing,” “For the Patriarch,” “For the Matriarch,” “For Our Sisters,” “For Our Brothers” and “For the Family Historian.”

If you use this prayer, please click “like” on this page and subscribe. Please take a moment to post a link to your Facebook page, your blog or mention it in a tweet. Thanks. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!”

A Prayer for Dad

Posted on: June 15th, 2011 by tobendlight

Here’s a prayer for Father’s Day. It’s from a series of prayers celebrating family. Each opens with the tone of psalm and ends with a blessing. To listen while you read, click on the triangle in the bar below. The text follows.

For the Patriarch
For our patriarch,
A song of dignity and honor.

Guardian of mitzvot,
Keeper of truths,
Hand of protection and peace,
We are blessed with your humor and compassion,
Your zest for life
And your zeal for family.
You remind us to open our lives to G-d’s majesty and mystery,
G-d’s justice and mercy.
You remind us to seek radiance and splendor,
Awe for creation and compassion for each other,
And choose joy over grief,
Laughter over tears.

G-d of fatherly patience and strength,
Bless our family with love
And our patriarch with vision, endurance and hope.
May his devotion inspire us to righteousness and charity,
Guided by Torah.
Bless our lives with abundance
And our days with vigor,
So that we bring majesty and mystery to our lives
And into the world.

Blessed are You, G-d of our fathers,
Who provides just and righteous men
In every generation.

Postscript: I welcome ideas for more topics in this series of family prayers. Others include: “For the Matriarch,” “For Our Brothers,” “For Our Sisters” and “For the Family Historian.” This prayer was first posted on June 19, 2010.

Please use these prayers. See “Share the Prayer!” in the right hand column. For notices of new prayers posted here, please subscribe. To read four to six mini-prayers each week, as well as notices of new prayers posted to the site, please join the To Bend Light fan page on Facebook.

Meditation for a Child’s First Torah Reading

Posted on: May 19th, 2011 by tobendlight

This prayer was inspired by a video of a friend’s daughter reading Torah, although it wasn’t her first time chanting. Add the Shehecheyanu to the end of this prayer. To listen along, click on the triangle in the bar below. The text follows. Here are two related short, short stories: “Mendel Baruch” and “Motyl the Fool.”

Meditation for a Child’s First Torah Reading
Holy one,
Ancient Source of wisdom and truth,
My daughter / son is about to enter
The sacred garden of Your Law,
Chanting Torah on behalf of our people for the first time.
How splendid is this moment!
How amazing in beauty and hope!
May this be the beginning of a miraculous journey,
A sacred romance of head and heart
Between my daughter / son and the wisdom of the ages,
Between my child and Your Holy Word.
Grant me the ability to listen and to hear
As she / he gives voice to Your mysteries.
May this moment herald a life
Dedicated to unlocking the secrets
Hidden in our holy texts.
May I be privileged to hear her / him
Read Torah again and again,
Always remembering my joy in this moment,
My heart full of praises.
[Add Shehecheyanu.]

Postscript: Here’s a short, short story about reading Torah for the first time, “Hershal Dovid: A Torah Reading Story.”

For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter. Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing.

Photo Source: Judea Reform Congregation

A Prayer for Mom

Posted on: May 4th, 2011 by tobendlight

Here’s a prayer to honor Mom. “For the Matriarch” is from a series of prayers celebrating family, including “For the Patriarch,” “For Our Brothers,” “For Our Sisters”and “For the Family Historian.” Each opens with the tone of psalm and ends with a blessing. They all appears in my book, Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing. To listen along as you read, click on the triangle in the bar below. The text follows.

For the Matriarch
For our matriarch,
A song of strength and hope.

Guardian of generations,
Keeper of traditions,
Hand of guidance and love,
We are blessed by your wisdom and purpose,
Your work to bind us to our heritage,
Your dedication to peace in our homes
And joy in our lives.
You remind us to open our hearts to our brothers and sisters,
Fathers and mothers,
Daughters and sons.
You remind us to honor and cherish cousins of cousins of cousins,
And to live together, in harmony,
By G-d’s holy word.

G-d of motherly wisdom and grace,
Bless our family with health
And our matriarch with vision, endurance and hope.
May her devotion inspire us to live by our highest ideals,
Guided by Torah.
Bless our lives with laughter
And our days with purpose,
So that we bring radiance and splendor to our family
And to the world.

Blessed are You, G-d of our mothers,
Who provides just and righteous women
In every generation.

Postscript: The photo is my mom. She was an actress. I welcome ideas for more topics in this series of family prayers. Others include: “For the Patriarch,” “For Our Brothers,” “For Our Sisters”and “For the Family Historian.” This prayer was first posted on May 9, 2010.

For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter. If you use or like this prayer, please post a link to Facebook, your blog or mention it in a tweet.

Photo Source: Mom

My Child Leaves Home (A Parent’s Prayer, Revised)

Posted on: March 20th, 2011 by tobendlight

Tomorrow my daughter Dana moves to Los Angeles. She’s lived with me for three months between college and career. This prayer was first written and posted last year. In the past few weeks I’ve become more keenly aware of the array of emotions captured here: joy for Dana’s achievements, concern with my own life transition. Here it is in Dana’s honor, revised (tweaked, really) based on comments from readers.

My Child Leaves Home (A Parent’s Prayer)
Holy One,
Heavenly Guide,
My daughter / son is leaving home
To begin the adventure of an independent life.
Bless her / his journey with joy and wonder.
Let opportunity open like a rose before her / his eyes.
Be her / his compass and her / his shield.
Lead her / him on a path of discovery
Guided by the love of Torah,
A commitment to mitzvot,
And dedication to the Jewish people.
Bless her / him with mentors and teachers,
Companions and friends,
Scholars and rabbis,
To support and guide her / him along the way.

In this marvel,
In this glorious moment of growth fulfilled,
My heart struggles with contradictions:
Pride and fear,
Joy and grief,
Love and loss.
The landscape of my life is shifting,
Offering new challenges and new choices
In the very moment my child departs.
Give me the wisdom and the strength to honor my own life
With gentleness and courage,
And to embrace the beauty and promise of the time to come.

G-d of our fathers and mothers,
G-d of sacred transitions,
Bless my daughter / son
_______________ (child’s name in Hebrew or your native tongue)
As she / he sets out on this new life.
May she be a blessing to her / his [new] community.
Lead us back to each other often,
With stories of marvelous moments and amazing discovery.

Blessed are You, Adonai our G-d,
Who watches over the lives of our children.

Postscript: As I noted (more eloquently) after the original post, this is a prayer of affluence. The ability to send a child to college, or help to launch her into the world, is a blessing in itself.

Please use these prayers. See “Share the Prayer!” in the right hand column.

For notices of new prayers posted here, please subscribe. To read four to six mini-prayers each week, as well as notices of new prayers posted to the site, please join the To Bend Light fan page on Facebook.

Our Patriarch: Jerold S. Solovy z”l

Posted on: January 20th, 2011 by tobendlight

Here’s a prayer reposted in memory of my uncle Jerry Solovy z”l. The Chicago ADL has renamed the Jerold S. Solovy Freedom Award in his memory. The Chicago Sun-Times said: “It’s hard to imagine a Chicago lawyer who outranks Jerold S. Solovy in terms of reputation, influence and largesse.”

For the Patriarch
For our patriarch,
A song of dignity and honor.

Guardian of mitzvot,
Keeper of truths,
Hand of protection and peace,
We are blessed with your humor and compassion,
Your zest for life
And your zeal for family.
You remind us to open our lives to G-d’s majesty and mystery
G-d’s justice and mercy.
You remind us to seek radiance and splendor,
Awe for creation and compassion for each other,
And choose joy over grief,
Laughter over tears.

Blessed are You, G-d of our fathers,
Who provides just and righteous men
In every generation.

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Postscript: Here are links to two mourner’s prayers: “For Bereaved Children,” which I wrote for my daughters when Ami z”l passed away, and “For the Bereaved.” “For the Patriarch” is part of a series including: “For the Matriarch,” “For Our Brothers,” “For Our Sisters” and “For the Family Historian.”

Photo Source: Alden Solovy Family Photo

Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Vayigash: Dear Brother, Dear Sister

Shabbat Blessing for Children Who Have Left Home

Family Healing

Blessing For a Spouse / Partner

For Family

A Prayer for Dad

Meditation for a Child’s First Torah Reading

A Prayer for Mom

My Child Leaves Home (A Parent’s Prayer, Revised)

Our Patriarch: Jerold S. Solovy z”l

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**"Alden Solovy has become one of the most revered liturgists of the last decade…" - Jewish Post & Opinion, March 29, 2023**

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