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Archive for the ‘Death’ Category

Private Meditation on the Death of a Beloved Public Figure

Posted on: May 8th, 2018 by Alden

A beloved teacher, I didn’t get the chance to know Rabbi Aaron Panken z’l. Yet from everything written about him — from obituaries to Facebook posts — knowing him would have been an immense blessing. I wrote this months ago and hadn’t gotten around to posting it. The idea, which came from a friend, was that in the flow of beautiful, communal, public mourning, one could forget that private and small group moments of mourning are also important to the grieving process. It seems to me that posting this in his memory would be a fitting tribute.

Private Meditation on the Death of a Beloved Public Figure
Source of blessings,
Deal kindly with the soul of ________________ (name)
Who left a legacy of ________________ (one-word description, e.g.: Torah, music, dance, diplomacy…)
In this world,
A legacy of love, care and inspiration,
A legacy for the generations.

Rock of comfort,
So many were touched by him/her,
As was I,
And grief casts a shadow over my heart.
Even as he/she is celebrated publicly,
With honors and praises due,
Hear my personal prayer,
My private grief and loss.
Let his/her memory become a light
For the days and years ahead.
And let those memories, private and public,
Grow stronger with the passing time,
Becoming a well of consolation.

G-d of all being,
Grant a perfect rest under Your canopy of peace to him/her.
May his/her soul be bound up in the bond of life,
A living blessing in our midst.

Postscript: I wrote this at the suggestion of a friend. It’s rare that I can’t remember — or find a note telling me — who gave me the idea for a particular piece. If it’s you, I apologize and please send me a private message of some kind so I can fix this.

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Photo Source: HUC-JIR

For Those Who Die Young

Posted on: April 27th, 2018 by Alden

Ten. Ten dead young people are dead who shouldn’t be. A hiking tragedy in the land I love, in the canyons that I hike, led by adults who should have known better than to be there on a day when flash floods were predicted. In several separate incidents, five others were also lost in floods. We mourn them all. This piece appears in This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day from CCAR Press.

For Those Who Die Young
G-d of secrets,
G-d of my heart,
Source and shelter,
Grant a perfect rest under your tabernacle of peace
To ______________________ (name),
My _____________________ (relationship),
Whose life was cut off too soon.
Help us to remember his / her wisdom, talents and skills,
The joy, laughter, and tears,
And our moments together.
Let these memories continue to bless us
Even as we pray for him / her to find peace
In the world-to-come.
May his / her soul be bound up in the bond of life,
A living blessing in our midst.

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In Memoriam, Our Matriarch

Posted on: March 13th, 2018 by Alden

This is a new memorial prayer for the family matriarch. Here’s a link to the companion prayer, “In Memoriam, Our Patriarch.” These prayers are based on similar pieces for our living patriarch and matriarch. (In case anyone is worried, my mom is healthy, happy and aging with grace.)

In Memoriam, Our Matriarch
In memory of our matriarch,
A song of strength and hope.

Guardian of generations,
Keeper of traditions,
Hand of guidance and love,
We were blessed,
Throughout your days,
By your wisdom and steadfast purpose,
Your work to bind us to our heritage,
Your dedication to peace in our homes
And joy in our lives.
You reminded us to open our hearts
To our brothers and sisters,
Fathers and mothers,
Daughters and sons.
You reminded us to honor and cherish
Cousins of cousins of cousins,
And to live together, in harmony,
By G-d’s holy word.

G-d of motherly wisdom and grace,
Bless our family with health.
May the memories of our matriarch
Provide us with vision, endurance and hope.
May her unending devotion
Inspire us to live by our highest ideals,
Guided by Torah,
To help lift her soul to the highest heavens.
Bless our lives with laughter
And our days with purpose,
So that we bring radiance and splendor to our family
And to the world, in her honor.

Blessed are You, G-d of our mothers,
Who provides just and righteous women
In every generation.

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Postscript: This prayer is based on my prayer “For the Matriarch.”

Photo Source: Solovy Family Photo

On the Day of My Death

Posted on: December 23rd, 2017 by Alden

In recent weeks, several individuals have asked for prayers for the experience dying. This is one of two new prayers in response to those requests. It’s really a love song, which is what I hope to remember in the end: the beautiful, perhaps fleeting love that sustains and blesses.

On the Day of My Death
What will I pray for
On the day of my death?
For you, dear ones, for you…

May your heart sing
And your eyes smile.
May your griefs vanish,
And your joys soar.
Let blessings light your way,
And beauty guide your journey.
Let hope carry your days,
And wisdom lift your life.

As for me,
My journey has ended.
To those I’ve harmed, I’m sorry.
To you who’ve loved me, thank you.
To all I’ve met, bless you.
To the Source of Being,
Let me return to You in peace.

Postscript: Related prayers include: “Gather Me,” “Angel of Rest,” “Remember,” “Near the End: A Meditation” and “Things Break.”

Photo Source: Ouachita National Forest

After a Sudden Death

Posted on: October 8th, 2017 by Alden

This is a prayer of grief and loss after the sudden death of a dear one. See also: “Angel of Rest,” “Birthday No More” and “Hard Mournings.”

After a Sudden Death
It happened so fast.
You were here. Now gone.
We had joy. Now loss.
We celebrated. Now we mourn.

How fragile is each breath?
How uncertain is each hour?
How precious is each day?
How brief is one life?

God of generations,
Grant a perfect rest under Your tabernacle of peace
To ___________________ (name),
My/our ________________ (mother, husband, partner, sister, friend etc.),
Who has left this life and this world too soon.
Oh, to still be with you
In this beauty and wonder.
Oh, to hear your voice,
To hold your hand,
To sit beside you.

Source and Shelter,
Loving Guide of the bereaved,
In this darkness,
In this void that seems beyond repair,
Bless us with solace and comfort
As we remember his/her love and his/her heart,
Our joy, laughter and tears.
Let these memories continue to bless us,
Even as we pray for him/her to find peace
In the world to come.
May his/her soul be bound up in the bond of life,
A living blessing in our midst.

Postscript: Click here for a list of my other memorial and yizkor prayers.

Photo Source: AbsFreePic.com

In Memoriam, Our Patriarch

Posted on: September 13th, 2017 by Alden

This is a new memorial prayer for the family patriarch. The companion prayer, “In Memoriam, Our Matriarch,” will be posted in the next few weeks.

In Memoriam, Our Patriarch
In memory of our patriarch,
A song of dignity and honor.

Guardian of mitzvot,
Keeper of truths,
Hand of protection and peace,
We were blessed,
Throughout your days,
With your humor and compassion,
Your zest for life
And your zeal for family.
You reminded us to open our lives
To majesty and mystery,
To G-d’s justice and mercy.
You reminded us to seek radiance and splendor,
To live in awe of creation
And with compassion for each other.
You were a beacon of light,
Reminding us to choose joy over grief,
Laughter over tears.

G-d of fatherly patience and strength,
Bless our family with love.
May the memories of our patriarch
Provide us with vision, endurance and hope.
May his unending devotion
Inspire our family to deeds of righteousness and charity,
Guided by Torah,
To help lift his soul to the highest heavens.
Bless our lives with abundance
And our days with vigor,
So that we bring majesty and mystery to our lives,
And into the world, in his honor.

Blessed are You, G-d of our fathers,
You provide just and righteous men
In every generation.

Postscript: This prayer is based on my prayer “For the Patriarch.”

Photo Source: Solovy Family Photo

Travel after an Unexpected Death

Posted on: July 2nd, 2017 by Alden

This is a prayer to be said upon traveling to attend a funeral after an unexpected death. The blank line is for inserting the name of the deceased. This appears in This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day from CCAR Press.

Travel After an Unexpected Death
Today,
God of Old,
Is a day I never imagined
And never prepared to face.

God of the bereaved,
Bless us as we come together
At this moment of desolation and despair.
Give me the presence of mind
To be a source of wisdom and strength
In this hour of need.
Bless my/our family with consolation and endurance,
Comfort and peace.

God of old,
Bless the soul of __________________________ (full name).
May his/her soul be bound up in the bond of life,
A living blessing in our midst.

Postscript: See also, “Travel to an Unexpected Family Emergency.”

Photo Source: WikiMedia Commons

Memorial for a Child, Even in Adar

Posted on: February 26th, 2017 by Alden

This is a memorial prayer for grieving parents. On this day nine years ago, Rosh Chodesh Adar, the month in which joy is said to enter, eight Yeshiva students were murdered in a terrorist attack: Doron Maharate, Avraham David Moses, Yonatan Eldar, Yonadav Hirshfeld, Neria Cohen, Yochai Lifshitz, Ro’ee Roth, Segev Peniel Avichail. Today, I’m reposting this prayer in their memories. May their souls be linked in the chain of life. May all who’ve lost a child find comfort, strength and renewal. This prayer appears in This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day from CCAR Press.

Memorial Prayer for a Child
My child,
Dear _________________ [first name],
You are love in my heart
And tears in my eyes.
You are longing in my chest,
A well of memories,
Joyous and crushing,
Holy and touched by sorrow.
My yearning for you will never cease.

G-d of all Being,
Grant my/our son/daughter _______________ [full name]
A perfect rest under Your tabernacle of peace.
Guide his/her soul back to Your holy realm,
For he/she left this world
Too young,
Too soon,
With dreams unanswered
And hopes unfulfilled.

Grant our family strength as we move forward,
A tribute to Your healing
In memory of our dear son/daughter.
May his/her soul be bound up in the bond of life,
An eternal blessing in our midst.

Postscript: This prayer was first posted on August 29, 2013. See also: “Meditation on the Burial of a Young Child,” “For Bereaved Children,” “After Shiva” and “For the Bereaved.”

Photo Source: TerredIsrael

Death of a Horrible Relative

Posted on: February 12th, 2017 by Alden

When family members die, we strive to remember the best moments of their lives. We must also recognize the complexity of mourning when a person has suffered trauma at hand of a newly-departed relative. Although a response to death, this is a personal prayer of healing. It is intended for private use. Optional verses appear in [brackets]. Alternative word choices are separated with a slash (“/”).

Death of a Horrible Relative
Dad/Mom/_________ (other relative, name or relationship),
So many moments of pain,
So many chances for healing that you abandoned,
So much suffering that you caused,
And now, you are dead.
What is it that I/we mourn?
The dad/mom/_________ (other relative) we never had?
The loss of so much time and energy
To the misery you caused?
The hope that one day you would become
A person of integrity and valor,
Kindness and love?

As in life,
Your death brings mixed emotions,
Different for each of us in our family as we grapple to understand,
As we grapple to find comfort and peace.

G-d of Old,
[Where were You when our family needed healing?]
[Where were You in the pain the sorrow?]
Help me to let go of the false hopes and empty promises
That never came to be.
Teach me to accept my past as it was
So I can embrace a richer tomorrow.
Teach me to release my anger and pain
So that I may lead a life of awe and wonder,
Full of joy and laughter.
Help me to move on.
[Help me to forgive. So that one day I can say:]
May his/her soul be bound up in the bond of life,
[At long last,]
A living blessing in our midst.

Postscript: See also “Grieving the Living.” Here’s a link to all of my Yizkor and memorial prayers.

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Photo Source: Alden Solovy

On Lighting a Yizkor or Yartziet Candle

Posted on: September 22nd, 2016 by Alden

This is a simple new meditation, appropriate for both Yizkor and a Yartziet, to be said before or after lighting a memorial candle. The language is inclusive, accessible to persons of all faiths. Let all who mourn find peace. This piece appears in my book This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day from CCAR Press.

On Lighting a Memorial Candle
A candle.
A flame.
A memory.

G-d of generations,
Grant a perfect rest under Your tabernacle of peace
To ____________________ (name),
Who has left this life and this world.
Let his/her/their soul find comfort.
Let his/her/their memory be a blessing.

This candle is for healing,
This flame is for hope,
Calling forth our joys and sorrows,
Calling forth our hours and our days.

G-d of our ancestors,
Bring me and my family solace and consolation
In this moment of remembrance.
Let all who mourn find peace.

Postscript: Here’s a link to my other yizkor prayers and prayers of mourning. Thanks to Rabbi Paul Kipnes for suggesting that I write a new prayer for lighting a memorial candle.

Please check out my Meet the Author video and This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day. For reprint permissions and usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” To receive my latest prayers via email, please subscribe (on the home page). You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Archive for the ‘Death’ Category

Private Meditation on the Death of a Beloved Public Figure

For Those Who Die Young

In Memoriam, Our Matriarch

On the Day of My Death

After a Sudden Death

In Memoriam, Our Patriarch

Travel after an Unexpected Death

Memorial for a Child, Even in Adar

Death of a Horrible Relative

On Lighting a Yizkor or Yartziet Candle

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