Tag Archive for "grieving parents"

Posts Tagged ‘grieving parents’

Columbine, Again and Again

Posted on: February 15th, 2023 by Alden

In memoriam for those who lost their lives at Michigan State University, and to all who were wounded physically or emotionally, I’ve added the school to “A Dream of Columbine: Psalm of Protest 13.” Here is a three-prayer liturgy also including “After Uvalde: The Court of the Innocent” and “After a Deadly Rampage.”

A Dream of Columbine: Psalm of Protest 13
A dream of Columbine High School,
When the U.S. was beset by guns.
Red with blood,
A dream of Thurston High, Red Lake High, Virginia Tech, and Michigan State University,
Wet with tears,
A nightmare of Sandy Hook and Robb Elementary.
A lament of guns and death,
At NIU, Marshall County High, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High, Santa Fe High and Saugus High.
Crying out
With so many others,
Too many dead,
So many wounded and scarred.
Crying out,
O Columbine!
How long? How long? How long?

After Uvalde: The Court of the Innocent
The court of the innocent
At the gates of heaven
Is twenty-one souls larger today.
Two adults and nineteen children shot dead.
They bring their blood as evidence against us,
As evidence of our failure to protect them
And the impotence of our rage.

The court of the innocent
At the gates of heaven
Have stopped listening to our speeches.
They no longer say ‘amen’ to our prayers.
They have turned their backs to us,
As we have turned our backs to them.

The court of the innocent
At the gates of heaven
Minister to the souls of the newly murdered,
They minister to those cut down
By guns and violence,
By politics and inaction,
Tending to these recent companions in death,
Consoling their lifeless hearts.

After a Deadly Rampage
Author of life
Source and Creator,
Grant a perfect rest under Your tabernacle of peace
To the victims of the massacre
At Michigan State University,
Whose lives were cut off by violence,
A rampage of aggression beyond understanding.
Their hopes were severed.
Their dreams were lost to brutality.
May their souls be bound up in the bond of life,
A living blessing in our midst.
May they rest in peace.

G-d of justice and mercy,
Remember, too, the survivors of this attack,
Witnesses of shock, horror and dismay.
Ease their suffering and release their trauma
So that they recover lives of joy and wonder.
Grant them Your shelter and solace,
Blessing and renewal.
Grant them endurance to survive,
Strength to rebuild,
Faith to mourn,
And courage to heal.

Remember the families and friends
Of the dead and the wounded.
With comfort and consolation.
Grant them Your protection,
Your wholeness and healing.
May they find hope and renewal.

Heavenly Guide,
Source of love and shelter,
Put an end to anger, hatred and fear
And lead us to a time when
No one will suffer at the hand of another,
Speedily, in our day.

New here? Subscribe here to get my newest prayers by email.
Share the prayer! Email this to a friend.

Postscript: See also “Against Gun Violence.”

Please check out These Words: Poetic Midrash on the Language of Torah and my other CCAR Press volumes: This Grateful Heart, This Joyous Soul, and This Precious Life, which can also be purchased as the Grateful/Joyous/Precious trilogy. For reprint permissions and usage guidelines, see “Share the Prayer!” To receive my latest prayers via email, please subscribe (on the home page). You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter. For a taste of my teaching, see my ELItalk video, “Falling in Love with Prayer.”

Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing.

Photo Source: Bridge Michigan

For Survivors of School Shootings

Posted on: March 31st, 2019 by Alden

Sydney Aiello / Jeremy Richman

This prayer is a response to three recent suicides. In the past week, Jeremy Richman, the father a first-grader killed in the Sandy Hook School shooting, was found dead of an apparent suicide. Days earlier, Parkland, Florida, was rocked by two apparent suicides involving survivors of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School rampage, Sydney Aiello and an unnamed Parkland Student. Here’s are two related prayers: “For Terror Survivors” and “A Dream of Columbine: Psalm of Protest 13.”

For Survivors of School Shootings
O grief beyond consolation,
Release your grip
On the survivors of terror in our schools,
The witnesses of this violence,
And the families of the slain.

You who have endured this grievous loss,
You who have mourned and lamented,
Surely sorrow pierced your heart
When murder raged,
Staining your memory red with blood.
Let love bind your wounds.
Let tears sooth your soul.
Let your life be a tribute
To the memory of the lost.

G-d of compassion,
Heal the broken-hearted,
Comfort the bereft,
And bring solace to the hearts of the bereaved.
Make a swift end to the scourge of terror in our schools,
And let the souls of the innocent
Rest in peace.

New here? Subscribe here to get my newest prayers by email.
Share the prayer! Email this to a friend.

Please check out my ELItalk video, “Falling in Love with Prayer,” and This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day. For reprint permissions and usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” To receive my latest prayers via email, please subscribe (on the home page). You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Source: CNN

A Dream of Columbine: Psalm of Protest 13

Posted on: February 2nd, 2019 by Alden

The massacre at Columbine High school took place more than 20 years ago. And still, we have school shooting after school shooting. This Psalm of Protest, listing school shootings, imagines that those schools stand as witness against all gun violence, as witness against all mass murder. See also, “Against Gun Violence” and “In Memorium: Sandy Hook.”

Addendum: Written in 2019, this has been updated on May 25, 2022, to include Robb Elementary School, Uvalde, Texas.

A Dream of Columbine: Psalm of Protest 13
A dream of Columbine High School,
When the U.S. was beset by guns.
Red with blood,
A dream of Thurston High, Red Lake High and Virginia Tech.
Wet with tears,
A nightmare of Sandy Hook and Robb Elementary.
A lament of guns and death,
At NIU, Marshall County High, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High, Santa Fe High and Saugus High.
Crying out
With so many others,
Too many dead,
So many wounded and scarred.
Crying out,
O Columbine!
How long? How long? How long?

New here? Subscribe here to get my newest prayers by email.
Share the prayer! Email this to a friend.

Postscript: See also: “Psalms of Protest 1, and 3,” Psalms of Protest 4, 5 and 6,” “Psalms of Protest 7-10,” “#MeToo, No More: Psalm of Protest 11” and “Psalm of Protest 12.”

Photo Source: NBC12

Memorial for a Child, Even in Adar

Posted on: February 26th, 2017 by Alden

This is a memorial prayer for grieving parents. On this day nine years ago, Rosh Chodesh Adar, the month in which joy is said to enter, eight Yeshiva students were murdered in a terrorist attack: Doron Maharate, Avraham David Moses, Yonatan Eldar, Yonadav Hirshfeld, Neria Cohen, Yochai Lifshitz, Ro’ee Roth, Segev Peniel Avichail. Today, I’m reposting this prayer in their memories. May their souls be linked in the chain of life. May all who’ve lost a child find comfort, strength and renewal. This prayer appears in This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day from CCAR Press.

Memorial Prayer for a Child
My child,
Dear _________________ [first name],
You are love in my heart
And tears in my eyes.
You are longing in my chest,
A well of memories,
Joyous and crushing,
Holy and touched by sorrow.
My yearning for you will never cease.

G-d of all Being,
Grant my/our son/daughter _______________ [full name]
A perfect rest under Your tabernacle of peace.
Guide his/her soul back to Your holy realm,
For he/she left this world
Too young,
Too soon,
With dreams unanswered
And hopes unfulfilled.

Grant our family strength as we move forward,
A tribute to Your healing
In memory of our dear son/daughter.
May his/her soul be bound up in the bond of life,
An eternal blessing in our midst.

Postscript: This prayer was first posted on August 29, 2013. See also: “Meditation on the Burial of a Young Child,” “For Bereaved Children,” “After Shiva” and “For the Bereaved.”

Photo Source: TerredIsrael

On Lighting a Yizkor or Yartziet Candle

Posted on: September 22nd, 2016 by Alden

This is a simple new meditation, appropriate for both Yizkor and a Yartziet, to be said before or after lighting a memorial candle. The language is inclusive, accessible to persons of all faiths. Let all who mourn find peace. This piece appears in my book This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day from CCAR Press.

On Lighting a Memorial Candle
A candle.
A flame.
A memory.

G-d of generations,
Grant a perfect rest under Your tabernacle of peace
To ____________________ (name),
Who has left this life and this world.
Let his/her/their soul find comfort.
Let his/her/their memory be a blessing.

This candle is for healing,
This flame is for hope,
Calling forth our joys and sorrows,
Calling forth our hours and our days.

G-d of our ancestors,
Bring me and my family solace and consolation
In this moment of remembrance.
Let all who mourn find peace.

Postscript: Here’s a link to my other yizkor prayers and prayers of mourning. Thanks to Rabbi Paul Kipnes for suggesting that I write a new prayer for lighting a memorial candle.

Please check out my Meet the Author video and This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day. For reprint permissions and usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” To receive my latest prayers via email, please subscribe (on the home page). You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Birthday, No More

Posted on: August 20th, 2015 by Alden

Here’s a prayer to be said on the birthday of a deceased loved one. My sense of sorrow and loss return on the birth dates of my dad Jack z”l and my wife Ami z”l. Word choices are separated with a slash (“/”). Optional lines appear in [brackets]. This appears in This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day from CCAR Press. I also use this prayer on Father’s Day and, thinking of my children, on Mother’s Day.

Birthday, No More
This empty space in time,
In my heart,
Is yours dear ___________ [relationship].
It is the space for yearning,
The space of memory,
The day your light came into the world.
A day of sorrow for what was lost,
Birthdays that will never be.

This day touches
The depths of my grief and loss.
This day touches
A wound and makes it new.

G-d of generations,
Be with me [and my/our family]
As we remember what was
And what might have been.

I/We miss you.

Postscript: I’m posting this in memory of my father, born August 20, 1925. On that same date, 63 years later, he received his cancer diagnosis and died 10 days later, August 30, 1988, corresponding to 17 Elul 5748. Some of my other prayers about death include: “Near the End: A Meditation,” “On Removing a Child’s Life Support,” “Meditation on the Burial of a Young Child,” “On the Journey to My Child’s Passing,” “After Shiva” and “Shall I Cry.” Here’s a list of memorial and yizkor prayers.

Photo Source: WikiMedia Commons

Angel of Rest

Posted on: March 8th, 2015 by Alden

Here’s a short meditation on death, attempting to think differently about the classic image of the Angel of Death.

Angel of Rest
Then came
The Angel of Death
With gentle words
And sacred tidings.
Quiet and rest.
Gentleness and peace.
Extending a hand and a smile.
A guide.
A companion.

In the end,
We are not alone
As we rise
Into the rhythm of light,
The expanse of glory,
The illumination of holiness,
To become one with the infinite,
To become the pulse
Of the divine.

Postscript: Some of my other prayers about death include: “Near the End: A Meditation,” “On Removing a Child’s Life Support,” “Meditation on the Burial of a Young Child,” “On the Journey to My Child’s Passing,” “After Shiva” and “Shall I Cry.” Here’s a list of memorial and yizkor prayers.

Photo Source: WikiMedia Commons

After an Accidental Death: A Yizkor Prayer

Posted on: December 7th, 2014 by Alden

This is another in a series of focused yizkor prayers to help acknowledge particular circumstances surrounding the death of a loved one, such as: “In Memory of an Organ Donor,” “At the Hand of Violence,” “Yizkor for a Lone Soldier” and “At the Hand of Anti-Semitism.” May the memory of the righteous be a blessing.

After an Accidental Death: A Yizkor Prayer
G-d of secrets,
Source and shelter,
Grant a perfect rest under your tabernacle of peace
To ______________________ (name),
My [father / mother / sister / brother / child / wife / dear one/ friend]
Whose life was cut off without warning,
In a moment of inconceivable horror,
Cut down [in the fullness of life / in his/her prime /before we were ready].
Even in this darkness,
Even in this grief and void that seem beyond repair,
Help us to remember his/her wisdom, talents and skills,
Our times together,
Our joy, laughter and tears.
Let our memories continue to bless us
Even as we pray for him / her to find peace
In the world to come.
May his / her soul be bound up in the bond of life,
A living blessing in our midst.

Postscript: Here is a list of memorial and yizkor prayers, many of which appear in my book, Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing.

Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Source: WikiMedia Commons

Grieving the Living

Posted on: October 11th, 2014 by Alden

This prayer is for those grieving the emotional or spiritual loss of someone still living: a parent whose child no longer wants a relationship, or a teen whose parents have been lost in alcoholism for years. The idea was sparked when I heard a young woman in a support group say: “You people who’ve lost loved ones, you’re lucky. Some of us have lost our parents, but they’re still living. At least you can grieve and get on with it. We just go on suffering the loss with the ridiculous hope that one day things will get better.” Optional lines appear [in brackets]. This prayer will appear in my forthcoming book, Prayers from the Heart of Darkness.

Grieving the Living
G-d of Old,
Grief holds me,
Sadness deep in my bones,
A yearning to fill the hole
In my broken heart.
[My parents, who do not love.]
[My child, who cut me off.]
[My friend, who disappeared.]
[My brother, a river of anger.],
[My sister, a well of judgment.]
[My ______, who _________.]

This longing for what has never been,
For what [may/can] never be,
Consumes me.
How can I move beyond this sorrow
When I still can hope?
How can I move beyond this pain
When I can still dream?
[I wonder,
Wouldn’t my life be better
If he/she/they were dead, G-d forbid?
I could grieve and move on.
Then my guilt and shame set in.]

G-d of Wisdom,
Teach me to let go
Of false hopes and empty promises
So I can trust again, love again, hope again.
Teach me to accept my past as it was
So I can embrace a richer tomorrow.
Teach me to release my anger and pain
So that I may lead a life of awe and wonder,
Full of joy and laughter.

Blessed are You, Creator of life,
You heal the broken spirit with love.

Postscript: Here’s a list of memorial and yizkor prayers, many of which appear in my book, Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing.

Photo Source: Sasha Wolf/Wikimedia Commons

For Superman Sam and His Family

Posted on: November 15th, 2013 by Alden

Superman Sam has relapsed. As his mom wrote: “His ninja leukemia is so very strong.” They’re nearing the end. At various times during the Sommer’s journey, various people, not knowing what to do but wanting to help, have asked me to write something for Sam or his family. It happened again today, after the crushing news. I’ve been reading the posts by Rabbis Phyllis and Michael Sommer about their family and their son, wondering at the depth of their pain and courage, yet hesitant to offer something that they may or may not find appropriate. Again this morning, I received an email from a friend asking me for a prayer. I wrote this today for Sam’s parents and decided to post it after an email exchange with a friend of the family. For those who wish to pray for Sam, his Hebrew name is Shmuel Asher Uzziel ben haRav Michael Aharon v’haRav Pesah Esther.

On the Journey to My Child’s Passing
Soul of the Universe,
When we dreamed of becoming parents
We never expected to face the death of our son,
Still a child,
Or to prepare him and our family for the end,
Or to face the day to come when we bury him.

Oh grief,
You know no bottom,
You spare no heart,
You leave us breathless and cold.

And yet, G-d of Ages, You offer
Holy choices,
To walk with our son,
In courage and fear,
In strength and heartbreak,
Toward a destination we cannot enter.

G-d of All Being,
The well of cures has run dry.
The horizon of life nears.
There is a single destination.
Bless our family with wisdom and strength,
Kindness and care,
Just as we ask You, Holy One,
To cover us with Your tabernacle of peace.

Author of Life,
Grant our son Sam
Joy and wonder in the days that remain.
And give him an easy passing.
Grant us the wisdom and ability
To be examples of steadfast love,
An inheritance for the generations.

Rock of Old, You are my comfort and my strength.
צור עולמים, אתה נחמתי וכחי
Tzur olamim, atah nechamati v’chochi.

Postscript: I cried writing this. A lot. In the coming weeks I’ll post a generalized version of this prayer for use by those who, sadly, find themselves with a similar need. In writing it, I’ve borrowed from two other prayers: “Meditation on the Burial of a Young Child,” which I wrote after the shootings in Sandy Hook, and “On Removing a Child’s Life Support,” which I wrote at the request of a hospital chaplain. Both prayers will appear in my forthcoming book, Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing.

For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. Connect with To Bend Light on Facebook and on Twitter.

Photo Source: Bunny Tales, A Shabby Rabbit Book Blog

Posts Tagged ‘grieving parents’

Columbine, Again and Again

For Survivors of School Shootings

A Dream of Columbine: Psalm of Protest 13

Memorial for a Child, Even in Adar

On Lighting a Yizkor or Yartziet Candle

Birthday, No More

Angel of Rest

After an Accidental Death: A Yizkor Prayer

Grieving the Living

For Superman Sam and His Family

“Alden has become one of Reform Judaism’s master poet-liturgists…" - Religion News Service, Dec. 23, 2020

“Mesmerizing, spiritual, provocative, and thoughtful, Alden was everything you would want in a guest scholar and teacher.” – Rabbi Denise L. Eger, Congregation Kol Ami, Los Angeles, and Past President, CCAR

**"Alden Solovy has become one of the most revered liturgists of the last decade…" - Jewish Post & Opinion, March 29, 2023**

“Alden left everyone feeling inspired.” – Cantor Jeri Robins, Shabbat Chair, NewCAJE6

Your contribution helps support the creation of new prayers available to all on this site.