Tag Archive for "family loss"

Posts Tagged ‘family loss’

Travel after an Unexpected Death

Posted on: July 2nd, 2017 by Alden

This is a prayer to be said upon traveling to attend a funeral after an unexpected death. The blank line is for inserting the name of the deceased. This appears in This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day from CCAR Press.

Travel After an Unexpected Death
Today,
God of Old,
Is a day I never imagined
And never prepared to face.

God of the bereaved,
Bless us as we come together
At this moment of desolation and despair.
Give me the presence of mind
To be a source of wisdom and strength
In this hour of need.
Bless my/our family with consolation and endurance,
Comfort and peace.

God of old,
Bless the soul of __________________________ (full name).
May his/her soul be bound up in the bond of life,
A living blessing in our midst.

Postscript: See also, “Travel to an Unexpected Family Emergency.”

Please check out my ELItalk video, “Falling in Love with Prayer,” and This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day. For reprint permissions and usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” To receive my latest prayers via email, please subscribe (on the home page). You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Source: WikiMedia Commons

Sorrow at a Time of Joy

Posted on: February 18th, 2017 by Alden

This meditation is for moments in which an unexpected grief arrives in a moment of joy. A family death before a bar mitzvah. A sudden illness before a wedding. This appears in my new book, This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day.

Sorrow at a Time of Joy
Sorrow comes,
Unbidden,
Amidst the routines of our days
And the joys of this life.

How much loss can one endure?
How much sorrow can one face?
Grief has arrived,
Casting a pall over the joys that remain.
Even as we celebrate,
We’re overcome with distress.
Tragedy has struck.

G-d of comfort,
Help us through this difficult time.
Help us to be present for one another
And to find moments of calm and quiet,
Perhaps finding moments of joyous memory and laughter,
As we struggle together.

Postscript: See “Seasons of Sorrow,” which also appears in This Grateful Heart.

Please check out my Meet the Author video and This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day. For reprint permissions and usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Source: Nature’s Workshop

Death of a Horrible Relative

Posted on: February 12th, 2017 by Alden

When family members die, we strive to remember the best moments of their lives. We must also recognize the complexity of mourning when a person has suffered trauma at hand of a newly-departed relative. Although a response to death, this is a personal prayer of healing. It is intended for private use. Optional verses appear in [brackets]. Alternative word choices are separated with a slash (“/”).

Death of a Horrible Relative
Dad/Mom/_________ (other relative, name or relationship),
So many moments of pain,
So many chances for healing that you abandoned,
So much suffering that you caused,
And now, you are dead.
What is it that I/we mourn?
The dad/mom/_________ (other relative) we never had?
The loss of so much time and energy
To the misery you caused?
The hope that one day you would become
A person of integrity and valor,
Kindness and love?

As in life,
Your death brings mixed emotions,
Different for each of us in our family as we grapple to understand,
As we grapple to find comfort and peace.

G-d of Old,
[Where were You when our family needed healing?]
[Where were You in the pain the sorrow?]
Help me to let go of the false hopes and empty promises
That never came to be.
Teach me to accept my past as it was
So I can embrace a richer tomorrow.
Teach me to release my anger and pain
So that I may lead a life of awe and wonder,
Full of joy and laughter.
Help me to move on.
[Help me to forgive. So that one day I can say:]
May his/her soul be bound up in the bond of life,
[At long last,]
A living blessing in our midst.

Postscript: See also “Grieving the Living.” Here’s a link to all of my Yizkor and memorial prayers.

Please consider making a contribution to support this site and my writing. For usage guidelines and reprint permissions, see “Share the Prayer!” For notices of new prayers, please subscribe. You can also connect on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo Source: Alden Solovy

Birthday, No More

Posted on: August 20th, 2015 by Alden

Here’s a prayer to be said on the birthday of a deceased loved one. My sense of sorrow and loss return on the birth dates of my dad Jack z”l and my wife Ami z”l. Word choices are separated with a slash (“/”). Optional lines appear in [brackets]. This appears in This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day from CCAR Press. I also use this prayer on Father’s Day and, thinking of my children, on Mother’s Day.

Birthday, No More
This empty space in time,
In my heart,
Is yours dear ___________ [relationship].
It is the space for yearning,
The space of memory,
The day your light came into the world.
A day of sorrow for what was lost,
Birthdays that will never be.

This day touches
The depths of my grief and loss.
This day touches
A wound and makes it new.

G-d of generations,
Be with me [and my/our family]
As we remember what was
And what might have been.

I/We miss you.

Postscript: I’m posting this in memory of my father, born August 20, 1925. On that same date, 63 years later, he received his cancer diagnosis and died 10 days later, August 30, 1988, corresponding to 17 Elul 5748. Some of my other prayers about death include: “Near the End: A Meditation,” “On Removing a Child’s Life Support,” “Meditation on the Burial of a Young Child,” “On the Journey to My Child’s Passing,” “After Shiva” and “Shall I Cry.” Here’s a list of memorial and yizkor prayers.

Photo Source: WikiMedia Commons

Posts Tagged ‘family loss’

Travel after an Unexpected Death

Sorrow at a Time of Joy

Death of a Horrible Relative

Birthday, No More

“Alden has become one of Reform Judaism’s master poet-liturgists…" - Religion News Service, Dec. 23, 2020

“Mesmerizing, spiritual, provocative, and thoughtful, Alden was everything you would want in a guest scholar and teacher.” – Rabbi Denise L. Eger, Congregation Kol Ami, Los Angeles, and Past President, CCAR

**"Alden Solovy has become one of the most revered liturgists of the last decade…" - Jewish Post & Opinion, March 29, 2023**

“Alden left everyone feeling inspired.” – Cantor Jeri Robins, Shabbat Chair, NewCAJE6

Your contribution helps support the creation of new prayers available to all on this site.