This Ring: An Ending (Long Version)
This is an extended version of “This Ring: An Ending,” a meditation to be said on the act of removing a wedding band. My initial goal was to create a concise prayer versatile enough to be used either after a divorce or after the death of a life partner, which I explain on the post for the short version of this prayer. Eight months after writing it, my sense is that a longer prayer – with some specific directions – would be a useful alternative. Three optional sections are identified with [brackets]: two with instructions, one with optional language. This prayer will appear in my forthcoming book, Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing.
This Ring: An Ending (Long Version)
When I put your ring on my finger
I wrapped it around my heart.
A dream fulfilled.
A moment ripe with potential.
In removing this ring from my finger
I release my heart
With grief and joy,
Uncertainty and faith,
In unequal measures.
[Remove ring; set it aside or hand it to someone, the reverse of the wedding process]
Ancient One,
G-d of compassion and grace,
Let this moment be a blessing
So that healing continues
To flow into my hours and days.
[Grant my children
Comfort and relief,
Solace and understanding,
In the days and weeks ahead.
Let me be a source of strength and consolation for them,
An unbroken source of love.]
Grant me the insight
To honor the past and embrace the future
With dignity and passion,
Wisdom and thanksgiving,
Kindness and charity.
Then, G-d of life,
I will return in wholeness
To a life of joy,
To song and dance,
Laughter and praise,
As a beacon of Your light,
A source of hope and peace.
[Add Sheheciyanu, Kaddish, Birkat HaGomel or another reading, perhaps a poem or song.]
© 2013 Alden Solovy and http://www.tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.
Postscript: For some people removing a wedding band will be a Shehciyanu moment. For others, it’s clearly a Kaddish moment. Someone who escaped abuse – or survived an accident in which their life partner perished – might consider using Birkat Hagomel. Some will use this prayer in a solitary setting. Others will use it as part of a healing ceremony of their own design that takes place in the company of friends or family. Here’s a prayer “For Bereaved Children,” for healing the grief of our children, appropriate for parents to say whether the loss is by death or divorce.
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Photo Credit: Jeff Belmonte’s Photostream via Wikimedia Commons
Alden – I remember when you first released this prayer. I am so glad that you have a book coming out. Your ability to craft prayers is truly an amazing gift. Your book of prayers will no doubt bless many with your soothing and faithful words. Be well……, Barb
Thanks, Barb. I hope all is well with you and yours. Come visit me in Jerusalem!